^^
You probably will not know the actual time it was sent. As you experienced, as soon as you turn the phone on, it all at once pulls in the waiting SMS in the system. When it hits your phone, that is when it gets time stamped.
I only use the stock messaging app, so I don't know if Handcent or other messaging apps support this.
If you'd like to keep using the stock app and also happen to think that backing up your messages to a Gmail account could be useful, SMS Backup will be your ticket.
You can't know... unless you have people text you on a Google Voice number that forwards to your phone. Then you can check the time stamp on Google's site.
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