Recent content by rootabaga

Every husband will (to some degree of pain or another) understand this joke... A wife sends her husband to the store, saying, "Pay attention, and don't mess this up. I want you to go to the grocery store and get a loaf of bread; if they have eggs, get twelve." A short while later he returns...

When I got married a friend said to me, "Man, what are you thinking, you'll be waking up to the same woman every morning!" I shot back, "What in the world makes you think she's the same woman every morning? She's usually at least three different women before ten AM!"

Two friends, Mike and Kyle, are hanging out. Mike says, "Hey, Kyle, if I told you that the world was going to end in five minutes, what would you do?" Kyle answers, "I would shag anything that moved! What about you?" Mike replies, "I would stand very, VERY still..."

There are three rings of marriage... The engagement ring... The wedding ring... And the suffer-ring!!

I laughed, but man, I wish I could get that many seconds...

Do you know why married women are heavier than single women? It's because single women come home from work, see what's in the fridge, and then go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in the bed, and then go to the fridge! (It also works if you reverse the genders...)

Mine is a little convertible e-bike, so it's not heavy like full-framed e-bikes. Still not a bantam-weight, but not a George Foreman, either. ;) Glad to hear your deal worked out...and that you are able to figure out a fix for your old one.

Good luck with all of it, @olbriar. On the e-bike front, I rode mine down to a transit station to go pick up my wife's car from a shop (a weirdo story in itself) and though the battery pack was fully charged, it died less than two miles from home. We live in a pretty chilly area, and luckily...

Vied? ;)

I laughed, but truth to tell, I'm close enough to sympathize...

This guy is in a bar and shows the guy next to him a picture of his wife. "Can you believe that!?" He says. "Just look how gorgeous she is!!" The other guy replies, "If you think she's gorgeous, well, you should see MY wife!" The first guy says, "Really? Wow, so is she a looker, too?" "No,"...

I have known people who were sometimes accused of talking out of their a$$. I suppose if you're gonna talk out of there, you'll need some air as well...

After hailing a cab, the fare, a nun, gets in and gives the driver the destination. Partway through the trip the nun notices that the driver keeps staring through the mirror. Realizing he's caught, the driver stammers, "I'm really sorry to stare... it's just that...we'll, you're so...