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Age gap in dating?

A.Nonymous

A.Nonymous

Extreme Android User
So my friend and I were discussing this the other day as we have a third friend we want to smack around right now. He is in his early 30s and pining for a chick who is 19. Granted she has a solid head on her shoulders and is more mature than most 19 yr olds (how is it that chicks get their crap together so much earlier than guys do anyway?), but it's still a big enough gap that it's weird. So we're trying to talk some sense into him and get him to snap out of it and look for someone his own age. Not sure if he'll listen to us though.

What are your opinions on age gaps in dating? At what point is the gap too much?
 
Hang on while I calculate the difference between me and my missus .. :)

I think what's approprate kinda depends on your age: a 10 year gap when the older person is 20 is clearly wrong. When they're 30, not so much. When they're 70, really, who cares?

Re your mate: I'm with you. He needs to snap out of it. She's 19, FFS: anything more than a month is a long term relationship to her. Come back in 10 years, then she might be ready.

Re women getting their crap together earlier than guys: I think that's because most guys never manage at all. Besides, maturity's just old age: what's so great about it anyway? ;)
 
Personally, I have a theory that all guys are knuckleheads until at least their mid-20s. At least that long. Some longer than others, but I don't see very many who are not knuckleheads into their mid-20s.
 
A.Nonymous said:
Personally, I have a theory that all guys are knuckleheads until at least their mid-20s. At least that long. Some longer than others, but I don't see very many who are not knuckleheads into their mid-20s.
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I was one of those non knuckleheads in the 20's.
 
There is a 17 year difference between myself and my long-term boyfriend. I am 35. I think at my age, after being through the ringer a few times, I know myself well enough to know that he and I are compatible, despite age.
As for your friend, 11 years isn't so much, with the understanding that she is mature enough.
If he is in it for the long haul, leave him be. it might just be the best thing that ever happened to him. if it's not, he'll learn soon enough. sometimes we just have to learn these things on our own. :)
 
shelliewnj said:
There is a 17 year difference between myself and my long-term boyfriend. I am 35. I think at my age, after being through the ringer a few times, I know myself well enough to know that he and I are compatible, despite age.
As for your friend, 11 years isn't so much, with the understanding that she is mature enough.
If he is in it for the long haul, leave him be. it might just be the best thing that ever happened to him. if it's not, he'll learn soon enough. sometimes we just have to learn these things on our own. :)
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Is he older or younger though? To me that makes a huge difference. If he's older then he's in his 50s and you're 35. If he's younger and he's 17, then I have to question your judgement. :) With my friend, the actual age difference is something like 13-14 years I think. Not sure exactly. I hate to see him get hurt. He has a habit of picking unavailable women.
 
I think the traditional "rule" is half-your-age-plus-seven .. which means Shellie is just about spot on, while I ought to trade for a newer model :)

Your mate is well out though. Coincidentally, a quick calculation shows that my earlier suggestion of waiting a decade is pretty much spot on.
 
I *wasn't* a knucklehead in my 20's, but I grew into it ... just ask the Mrs. ;)

Seriously, I went through some stuff in my youth that forced me to grow up rather quickly. It's not to say i didn't have any fun, but I took relationships very seriously, which is probably why we'll be celebrating our 28th wedding anniversary this year and the honeymoon isn't over. :D

As to the OP ... statistically a 19 year old girl with a 30+ guy isn't going to work out in the long run, especially if the guy is more serious than she is. But, who knows. My wife's parents married when her mother was 19 and her father was 32 and they were together for 50 years.

A.Nonymous said:
He has a habit of picking unavailable women.
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That's a different issue. We should probably meet every other Thursday to discuss it $ 175/hr. ;)
 
SiempreTuna said:
Actually, his problem is he needs to be more ambitious! Forget the 19 year old: what about Angelina Jolie? SHE is unavailble :)
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Not sure he could handle the drama. Now Natalie Portman? That's a different story. I'll suggest he stalk her instead. She is his age. Problem solved.
 
If he's really keen on the age difference thing, you could always suggest Angela Lansbury or Judi Dench. ;)
 
A.Nonymous said:
Not sure he could handle the drama. Now Natalie Portman? That's a different story. I'll suggest he stalk her instead. She is his age. Problem solved.
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All true and she's very cute. Thing is: she's not living with Brad Pitt, consequently, I don't think she comes close on the unavailability scale.
 
Honestly, I find Angelina to be hot, but more than a little bit skanky. That is my only real objection. Natalie (we are on a first name basis now) seems to have more class.
 
A.Nonymous said:
So my friend and I were discussing this the other day as we have a third friend we want to smack around right now. He is in his early 30s and pining for a chick who is 19. Granted she has a solid head on her shoulders and is more mature than most 19 yr olds (how is it that chicks get their crap together so much earlier than guys do anyway?), but it's still a big enough gap that it's weird. So we're trying to talk some sense into him and get him to snap out of it and look for someone his own age. Not sure if he'll listen to us though.

What are your opinions on age gaps in dating? At what point is the gap too much?
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It works for some, not for all. I see some would say its wrong, but if your friend has good sense of life she might consider herself lucky. Many girls find right guys due to long trial and error runs.
 
She maybe mature...
But too young to have experienced enough of love and life to make long term commitment yet.

So it is okay... Will be a learning experience for her.

If lucky.. Really lucky.. You guys could date long enough for her to be ready to settle down.. And you both still want each other. It is a long shot
 
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