SiempreTuna
Android Expert
This isn't going to mean much to our American friends, but the background is that Aussies have been pretty consistently humiliating England at cricket - and most other sports - since 1882 and have been, in the Aussie way, totally unbearable about it. Recently however, we've been totally creaming them and what goes around - eventually - comes around .. 
What do you call an Aussie with a bottle of Champagne?
A waiter
What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer?
Retired
What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch?
A fisherman
Why can no-one drink wine in Australia at the moment?
They haven't got any openers
What is the difference between Cinderella and the Aussies?
Cinderella knew when to leave the ball
What does a 2013 Australian batsman have in common with Michael Jackson?
They both wore gloves for no apparent reason
Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone on the Australian cricket team?
The woman who irons their cricket whites
What's the height of optimism?
An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen
What do you call a cricket field full of Australians ?
A vacant lot
How are Aussie batsmen like a Formula 1 cars?
Blink and you'll miss them
What's the difference between Michael Clarke and a funeral director?
Funeral directors don't keep losing the Ashes
The Australian bobsleigh team have asked the Aussie cricket team for a meeting.
They want to ask their advice about going downhill so fast
What do you call an Aussie with a bottle of Champagne?
A waiter
What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer?
Retired
What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch?
A fisherman
Why can no-one drink wine in Australia at the moment?
They haven't got any openers
What is the difference between Cinderella and the Aussies?
Cinderella knew when to leave the ball
What does a 2013 Australian batsman have in common with Michael Jackson?
They both wore gloves for no apparent reason
Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone on the Australian cricket team?
The woman who irons their cricket whites
What's the height of optimism?
An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen
What do you call a cricket field full of Australians ?
A vacant lot
How are Aussie batsmen like a Formula 1 cars?
Blink and you'll miss them
What's the difference between Michael Clarke and a funeral director?
Funeral directors don't keep losing the Ashes
The Australian bobsleigh team have asked the Aussie cricket team for a meeting.
They want to ask their advice about going downhill so fast