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Be Careful When Upgrading

XplosiV

XplosiV

Master X is Watching You
Thought this was amusing, so sharing.



WARNING: DON'T UPGRADE YOUR GF TO WIFE

Dear Tech Support Team, ... ... Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected OLD-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. ... In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities. Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3... , PlayBall 5.0 , BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0 .

Please help!

Thanks,

"A Troubled User"

REPLY: Dear Troubled User,

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 , thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-OLD Support).

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software Dresses 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0.

WARNING: DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system and to your computer as well.
 
Oldie but a goodie...

:thumbup:

Is there a joke thread? If not, maybe you ought to rename this thread X, and then there would be...
 
I had to reread it a couple of times, just to make sure there were no TOS issues with any language that would get me in trouble. Happy to be making you all smile this morning! :D
 
wyndslash said:
jokes like these make me wonder why people get married in the first place.
Click to expand...


My parents recently celebrated their sixtieth wedding anniversary, it works for some, though I think some aren't willing to work at it...


...or for whatever reason they make poor choices.
 
This is perhaps older than the Internet.

It's been re-written many times in 30+ years (yes, it is at least that old), but always fun to see again.
 
In the next update to the OS, there should be some kind of C:\DIVORCE command you can use in the command prompt if all else fails.

To the OP: You should also add an additional warning that the program S*x 6.9 may not be fully compatible with the OS.
 
Being a girl I have no intention to be sexist but there simply are some things men need to understand. ;)

EVENING COURSE FOR MEN
*Accessible only for men!
Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty of the courses, each course*will accept a maximum of 8 students.
The course is spread over two days and will cover the following topics:

DAY 1
HOW DO I WATER THE PLANTS? Roadmap and slideshow.
TOILET ROLLS: DO THEY GROW BY THEMSELVES? groupdiscussion.
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY BASKET AND THE FLOOR Practicing with different types of laundry baskets (visualization training).
IS IT GENETICLY POSSIBLE TO SIT STILL WHILE SHE PARKS THE CAR? Driving simulator.
TV REMOTE Release the remote: telephone helpline and various support groups.
HOW CAN YOU FIND THINGS? Training in seeking in the right place*instead of disrupting the whole house crying.

DAY 2
Empty milk cartons: REFRIGERATOR OR TRASH? Group discussion and role play.
BRING FLOWERS FOR HER IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH PowerPoint presentation.
REAL MEN ASK THE WAY IF THEY ARE LOST True story of the man who once tried.
THE DISHES: THEY FLY THEMSELVES TO SINK/DISHWASHER? Debate with some experts.
BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER Lab and role play.
BEING THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.
REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING IF YOU'RE LATER Take diary / PDA along to the course.
LEARNING TO LET GO: LIVE WITH IT THAT YOU'RE OUTARGUED Personal guidance possible.

This works on original and even the most enhanced, rooted men.
This course is given regularly, in a community center in your area. So ladies, sign up your man and improve your current version. Give him a chance. Switching to a newer model is not necessarily the answer to the occuring problems.

:D All in good sport of course :D
 
Kaat72 said:
Being a girl I have no intention to be sexist but there simply are some things men need to understand. ;)

EVENING COURSE FOR MEN
*Accessible only for men!
Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty of the courses, each course*will accept a maximum of 8 students.
The course is spread over two days and will cover the following topics:

DAY 1
HOW DO I WATER THE PLANTS? Hint: NOT like the Collie does.
TOILET ROLLS: WHY YOU MAY THINK THEY GROW BY THEMSELVES. Group discussion about enabling behavior.
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY BASKET AND THE FLOOR Practicing with different types of laundry baskets (aka. "Separation Anxiety").
WHY IT'S GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT STILL WHILE SHE PARKS THE CAR. Presentations by leading socio-anthropologists and insurance claims adjusters.
TV REMOTE OPTIMIZATION: Learning how to surf past HGTV discretely.
WHY YOU CAN'T FIND THINGS YOUR PARTNER PUT AWAY FOR YOU. Discussion of passive aggressive behavior.

DAY 2
Empty milk cartons: REFRIGERATOR, TRASH, OR RAW MATERIAL FOR CRAFTS? Group discussion and holistic visualization exercise.
BRING FLOWERS FOR HER IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH PowerPoint presentation sponsored by the makers of Allegra[sup]
Click to expand...
 
:d :d :d
1379344735711.jpg
:d :d :d
 
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