Disconnect to reconnect

[Member243850]

Silence isn't golden... it is priceless!

In such a difficult world to live in it is difficult to be nice. It is extremely important to find that "me" time when everyone wants or needs you all the time whether you are the go to person at work or the shoulder to cry on for everyone you know... a great privilege indeed but what about those who need a break themselves when the whole world seems to always need you?

I used to be a very loving person but I feel my thirst for success has made me a bit "harder" than what I used to be... ugly cold ... arrogant... I don't want to become a jerk like so many others in my field... also I feel like I have been abused for a very long time with no freedom in my younger years as it was denied from me...

In fact I used to be a very loving youngster... I was always known for being very caring... but not so young any more... young but not that young... I never used to watch the news so much... (mainly because my somewhat insane father enforced it or hated me if I didn't want to watch it) I actually hate the news and all politicians and current affairs I hate them all because they are all so ugly a reflection of it's ugly people... mirrors... they are everywhere...

Now these days I want to find inner peace... I want to go back to the days when I was extremely loving... I need to "disconnect to reconnect"... to find out how to get back to that loving young boy I used to be... it was so much better than what I am now... I had nothing... but I had everything!

Do you also sometimes hate God for putting you in a world that has no love and struggle to understand why it is such a prick?

To try hard to find that place I once knew and loved and cherished when I was so well known for being that loving youngster that would never close the door... but I feel I need to close the door for a while just to reconnect to gather myself... to breathe slowly and deeply and find that peace with God...

How many times have you had to go away from society just to find that inner peace with yourself and make peace with god?

it is hard when it should be more caring and give everyone a fair chance but some have had to suffer what seems tremendously just to get that tiny bit of fresh air...

I want to find that peace!

More importantly - I want to make peace with life and myself!

Have you felt like the whole world is trying to destroy you and crush you and you have no idea why?

If you are in a similar boat let us try find that precious peace!

Oh it is just so priceless!

It is beyond material measure - indeed!

 

[Deleted User]

I don't believe people change much throughout their lives. So if you were a caring person, you still are. Although life's rough knocks and injustices can make you cynical.
Funny isn't it, that even at a young age, you can see the basic personality traits of people (good and bad), and you can tell the kind of person they are going to become. It saddens me the way some kids act towards others.

But inner peace - what is that? Is it accepting yourself and your limitations? Is it being happy the way you are, and not feeling pressured to change, or fulfil some image that other people have of you? Is it not wanting to fit into the mould of how a 'perfect' person would be?

I don't feel like the world is trying to destroy or crush me personally. Why do you think that?

 

[Member243850]

That is an awesome response thanks LV426 buddy I really appreciate such a nice response

Well yes I did - I used to think people were out to get me at one point I had serious problems in life and everything got very hard for me at one point.

In fact I tried to commit suicide multiple times in my life it was very heavy - I felt like nothing could get me out of the madness life had thrown to me.

I just want peace these days more and more I just want happiness - no screaming no shouting and a peaceful life with no ugliness and yelling like I grew up with.

Peace is so important to me.

Well it is just like I felt my family always got in my way of success - if I had been born in a much quieter house I would have been far more successful - always demanding things from me always a yelling and angry or mad / borderline screaming household... it was never quiet and calm loving or accommodating...

I hated it.

It was only "my way or the high way" kind of thing and I felt like nothing was ever good enough.

I just want to find that peace and quite now and now I am finally going to get it!

It's sad as I really wish I could have had a more loving home.

So for me finding that inner peace is to love one self and to appreciate what little beauty there is in the world

 

[Deleted User]

Sad to hear how your early life was. I know how that kind of thing can consume you, and unfortunately you can't change the past. But yeah, it can get you down. Sounds like you had absolutely no control over the situation though.
You can however learn from that, and do your best to ensure that your own family life is much better. Don't repeat the mistakes of the past. I'm sure you'll be a great Dad and give your kids a loving and stable family environment.

 

[Member243850]

Sad to hear how your early life was. I know how that kind of thing can consume you, and unfortunately you can't change the past. But yeah, it can get you down. Sounds like you had absolutely no control over the situation though.
You can however learn from that, and do your best to ensure that your own family life is much better. Don't repeat the mistakes of the past. I'm sure you'll be a great Dad and give your kids a loving and stable family environment.

I dig you buddy

That is exactly what I want - I don't want to be like them at all.

I actually hate them... I guess maybe pain is knowledge after all?

It is definitely consuming... all I have ever wanted was a loving home... I sometimes watch other families and want that more than anything in the whole world...

Maybe I can find it for now with my own peace and quite and inner peace?

I wonder why God puts some of us in horrible homes and others in loving and happy peaceful homes?

Maybe I can find the answers in my own peace and quite time now?

 

[Deleted User]

Look forward bud, not back. Especially if what's back there isn't great.
Mistakes are the best teacher.
Not sure if a God has anything to do with this, you've just been very unlucky.
I hope you find your peace.

 

[Member243850]

Look forward bud, not back. Especially if what's back there isn't great.
Mistakes are the best teacher.
Not sure if a God has anything to do with this, you've just been very unlucky.
I hope you find your peace.

Hey thanks buddy me too - I ave wanted it for as long as I can remember.

Thanks bud it is appreciated