As for your wife's Maxx, you should be able to pull it by going to Settings>About Phone>System Updates. I believe they pushed ICS to RAZRs a week or so ago.
Our ICS is coming sometime in Q3 of 2012 according to Moto, so basically any time from now until the end of September. What frustrates me is that they are working on the Bionic's ICS update before the newer D4, but whatevs.
For the D4, you can wait for the official update, or flash a custom ROM, but I can't say which ones are stable/daily drivers. There an awful lot of Nightlies out there from AOKP and CM9 though, as well as leaked ICS builds from Moto, but I've heard that flashing them will take you off the update path (you won't get the official update when they push it out to us).
Good luck, buddy!