Redneck computer lingo.

[zuben el genub]

Just got this from the Vulcan:

REDNECK COMPUTER LINGO (with translations)​

Log On
Makin' the wood stove hotter.
Log Off
Don't add no wood.
Monitor
Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.
Download
Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.
Mega Hertz
When yer not careful downloadin'.
Floppy Disk
Whatcha git from pilin' too much firewood.
Ram
The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.
Hard Drive
Gettin' home in the winter season.
Prompt
What you wish the mail was in the winter.
Windows
What to shut when it's below 15 degrees outside.
Screen
What 'cha need for the black fly season.
Byte
That's what the flies do.
Chip
What to munch on.
Micro Chip
What's left in the bottom of the bag.
Infrared
Where the left-overs go when Fred's around.
Modem
What 'cha did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix
Farmer Matrix's wife.
Lap Top
Where little kids feel comfy.
Keyboard
Where ya hang your keys.
Software
Them plastic eatin' utensils.
Mouse
Whats eats the horses grain.
Main Frame
Holds up the barn roof.
Port
Fancy wine.
Enter
C'mon in.
Random Access Memory
You can't remember whatcha' paid for that new rifle when your wife asks.

 

[ardchoille]

I was chuckling until I got to "Micro chip".. then I lost it

 

[Speed Daemon]

I'm guessing that wasn't written by a real redneck, 'cause everyone knows that "log off" really means actually taking a log off the fire "so's the smoke don't come inside."