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Why Bother

ndorsey1966

ndorsey1966

Lurker
I've been going through a lot of problems in my life lately. My marriage is not satisfying. Work is not satisfying. My house is not as inviting as it used to be..I guess I am in a rut. So, since I can't get away right now, I have decided to vacation at home. The house gets a little unkempt, I shun away from tasks at work, and if the husband is not making me feel right, I just smile and say, Not trying to fix anything right now. Why Bother!
 
Been there, done that. I can offer only a few insights on the doldrums and being in a slump.

First, the grass is only greener on the other side because it's loaded with fertilizer. Next, you are not alone -- almost everyone faces this is one way or another. It's how you get through it, what you do to lift yourself up and who you impact along the way that defines what will be looking back at you in the mirror. Finally, it will pass (it always does.)

It does help to express yourself and I would also offer a sympathetic "ear" (okay it's the internet, but you know what I mean ;) ) but if it feels like it's impacting your life to a significant point, you might want to look into a bit of counselling. Find the right person and it works wonders. :)
 
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hey.. been there too...
it sucks.. and very hard to get out of this rut...

it requires a lot of effort to get out....
and if there is more than 1 person in this rut... all must help to get out.
you can not do it alone.

1. you got to do it together.
2. attitude adjustment.. how everyone see themselves in this situation needs to be adjusted. to a more positive view.
3. if the first 2 can not be done... you got to leave the environment.

best of luck...
 
As has been said already, I think we all go through this at some point (or points) in our life. I was in your shoes more than once, and even here recently (within the past 12 months) and as has been said, it takes determination, concern, genuine effort & care and a little luck. BUT, you can get through it. Look to friends, family, counselling and look at yourself, long and hard. There's light at the end of the tunnel, just gotta get there, ya know?

Remember, you matter, in your circle, in the world, in the big picture, you matter. Make the change you need. We're all pulling for you!
 
Why bother? Because you, and all the big AND little things you do, matter. You're making an impact in some way with everything you do. So focus whatever energy you have on tasks that matter the most, and the ones that make you feel better, even a little bit.

Do please note that if we're talking about clinical depression, it's VERY unlikely that you can just snap out of it. Therefore, as noted in earlier posts, seeking professional help from a good therapist may be in order.

When you hear that there's light at the end of the tunnel, and your response is "WHAT tunnel?!, run don't walk to therapy! :)
 
Last year I lost my job in casino surveillance. The year and half before the end came and probably even longer I had been in a rut at work, I simply didn't care. Everything would be falling to pieces people losing their mind and I simply wouldn't care. I went to work I went home. I simply didn't care about stuff. I took care of the family and stuff. If the wife or kids needed something I would take care of it.
My not caring attitude soon caught the attention of my supervisors and director and when ask if I was happy I would always say (I had bills to pay and finding another job making what I made wasn't going to be easy). Over the course of year we had this conversation several times. Then one day I simply told the truth and that was if I got job doing something else making the same amount or little less or more I would be gone in a heartbeat. Turns out the rest of the department felt the same way including the supervisors and my director.
Then came the day I lost my job. I went from being depressed to scare and worried. Immediately I began to hunt for another surveillance job I began putting in applications and within two weeks I had a potential job offer. During the interview I was on fire, I came to life. Then I got a tour of the surveillance room meet some of my possible feature co workers and knew right away I would probably walk off the job in a week. Later that night my wife asked me why I was applying for something that made me miserable?
I realize my rut had become a comfort zone. So I stopped applying for surveillance job. For a few weeks I didn't job hunt . we had stuff that needed to be taken care of like a 15×20 storage unit loaded with boxes and storage bins. I spent two weeks three hours per day down sizing. I got rid of 90% of the stuff I felt productive i felt a live. When I got back into the job hunt I started putting in applications for all kinds of jobs (federal court judge? Sure why not! Biologists? perhaps it was time I put what I learned in high school to good use)
I finally got a new job doing something brand new something I knew nothing about. When I told the wife she actually burst out laughing at me and once she regain her composure she told me no I wouldn't be taking the job.
In a few weeks from now I will be starting a new job and for the first time in a very long instead of having this I don't care about life attitude, the neck with everything I am now like okay life bring it on
 
The feeling of being in a rut happens to almost everyone at some point, as does the feeling of caring a lot less about things in your life. As someone who has dealt with this for my whole life I can tell you where to start: First, see your regular physician, if you have one. Get a physical, and while you are there explain to the physician about what is going on.The reason is that this way the doc can rule out any PHYSICAL possibilities for your current mindset. Even minor ailments that may seem insignificant can actually affect the mind considerably. Once anything physical has been ruled out the doc may have a few ideas for you to try from there. If that avenue does not seem to solve the issue(s), then I highly recommend seeing a counselor that can start to help you figure out what may be happening. At this point I caution you about expecting instant results. You likely did not get to this point overnight so the solution is not likely to happen overnight either.
For me I obtained a huge first step by having myself a good chat with the guy in the mirror. I explained I didn't like him much and thought many of his choices were poor. So he asked me where would should start so that I would like him again someday. It became a dialogue that started reshaping how I approached various things in life and while I don't think that guy is perfect I can say that I like him a lot more than I used to.
 
I sincerely appreciate all of the encouragement friends. I especially love the Vegas comment. But, nothing worthy has ever come easy, or so I have been told. What I do know is this: At the end of everyday, I am still standing, and at the end of the month, I have made it through. Thanks and much love to you all.
 
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