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Age gap in dating?

huh said:
seriously?? I wasn't going to babble my two cents in on this one but....seriously?

I think you think too much;)

leave him alone..what happens is what happens..good bad ugly it doesn't matter it's his life to live his lessons to learn his love his joy his pain his happiness and his retirement money..not yours:p

seriously though..age is nothing but a number..and who cares ??

how old would you be if you didn't know your age?

besides if he didn't go for it .. on the ridiculous grounds of what other people think he would regret it..and possibly you if you don't keep it zipped and start supporting him..( and I mean that in the nicest way possible.. honest)..:)

You see, That's what friends do...they support and stick up for each other even when they know they're wrong..and they are there to help pick up the pieces when needed.....(unless it is a matter of life and death..then by all means butt right in.. I'll have to save that topic for another mindless ramble)

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered with time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."
-can't remember who said it to give proper credit here



but you get my point...;)
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You have no idea how much I tend to overanalyze things. I get so much crap from my friends for overanalyzing crap like this.

Soooo, I should let him do his thing and if it falls apart swoop in for a rebound? Is that what I'm hearing? :D
 
I've seen a couple of "none-of-your-business" and "who cares" post and while on the face of it I agree that no one should be interfering with the personal romance of two legal adults, I think it's the responsibility of a true friend to say something if they see a friend heading for emotional disaster.

If you saw a friend walking into traffic you'd stop them. If you saw them develop a substance abuse problem you'd intervene. If you say someone picking their pocket you'd at least say something. It's too easy to turn a blind eye and say "it's none of my business".

Now, if you offer your advice and they still choose to go ahead with it, then you accept it and support them and don't be the "i told you so" type if things go bust.

Let me put it this way ... if you're not ready to hold their hand and offer a shoulder to cry on if things go wrong, then you really have no place offering an opinion in the first place. However, if you are ready to pick up the pieces, then I think it's a friend's duty to say something if they think it's not right.
 
A.Nonymous said:
You have no idea how much I tend to overanalyze things. I get so much crap from my friends for overanalyzing crap like this.

Soooo, I should let him do his thin and if it falls apart swoop in for a rebound? Is that what I'm hearing? :D
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haha!! OK..now you sound like a lot of guys I know!!:p

my opinion is to go ahead and tell him you think he might get hurt and that personally you probably would not go there(although I don't see anything wrong with it no big deal at all) but as a friend you will support him, and leave it at that! short and sweet..

and..hey maybe she has a cute friend for you!..or sister..or even her Mom!!:D:p
 
A.Nonymous said:
You have no idea how much I tend to overanalyze things. I get so much crap from my friends for overanalyzing crap like this.

Soooo, I should let him do his thing and if it falls apart swoop in for a rebound? Is that what I'm hearing? :D
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i am confused..

are you hoping to be with one of them? which one? your friend(guy)? or the 19 yr old girl?

if you want the girl.. then you should keep you mouth shut!!!! that is just wrong as a friend. dont ever go there!

if you want your friend... you need to tell that friend how you feel. but that is another issue all together.
 
dan330 said:
i am confused..

are you hoping to be with one of them? which one? your friend(guy)? or the 19 yr old girl?

if you want the girl.. then you should keep you mouth shut!!!! that is just wrong as a friend. dont ever go there!

if you want your friend... you need to tell that friend how you feel. but that is another issue all together.
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OMG! hahahaha!!!:D hahaha

wait!! I'm not laughing at you...You're being sarcastic...right?
 
dan330 said:
i am confused..

are you hoping to be with one of them? which one? your friend(guy)? or the 19 yr old girl?

if you want the girl.. then you should keep you mouth shut!!!! that is just wrong as a friend. dont ever go there!

if you want your friend... you need to tell that friend how you feel. but that is another issue all together.
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in both successful scenarios you are ending with brown eye and potentially broken nose. ;-)
 
huh said:
haha!! OK..now you sound like a lot of guys I know!!:p

my opinion is to go ahead and tell him you think he might get hurt and that personally you probably would not go there(although I don't see anything wrong with it no big deal at all) but as a friend you will support him, and leave it at that! short and sweet..

and..hey maybe she has a cute friend for you!..or sister..or even her Mom!!:D:p
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Her mom is married!!! Are you trying to get me in trouble?!? :stupido3:
 
My fiancee and I have been together 2 1/2 years now, but we also have almost precisely a 2 year age gap (4 days apart on birthdays!). Age gaps? I see nothing wrong so long as both parties are consenting and capable of reasoning
 
dibblebill said:
My fiancee and I have been together 2 1/2 years now, but we also have almost precisely a 2 year age gap (4 days apart on birthdays!). Age gaps? I see nothing wrong so long as both parties are consenting and capable of reasoning
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Two years isn't an age gap no matter how old you are.
 
huh said:
unless one is a two year old and the other is not born yet!!:D:D

why...yes...yes I am bored:rolleyes:
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Or you are an adult of any age and the other has been dead for two years. :eek:

That's not only wrong, but the basis for a hit television series. :rolleyes:
 
lunatic59 said:
Or you are an adult of any age and the other has been dead for two years. :eek:

That's not only wrong, but the basis for a hit television series. :rolleyes:
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Don't get me started on TV shows. I heard about a vampire, ghost and a werewolf living in the same house and was so excited. Then I heard it was not a sitcom and all the excitement went away.
 
huh said:
seriously?? I wasn't going to babble my two cents in on this one but....seriously?

I think you think too much;)

leave him alone..what happens is what happens..good bad ugly it doesn't matter it's his life to live his lessons to learn his love his joy his pain his happiness and his retirement money..not yours:p

seriously though..age is nothing but a number..and who cares ??

how old would you be if you didn't know your age?

besides if he didn't go for it .. on the ridiculous grounds of what other people think he would regret it..and possibly you if you don't keep it zipped and start supporting him..( and I mean that in the nicest way possible.. honest)..:)

You see, That's what friends do...they support and stick up for each other even when they know they're wrong..and they are there to help pick up the pieces when needed.....(unless it is a matter of life and death..then by all means butt right in.. I'll have to save that topic for another mindless ramble)

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered with time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."
-can't remember who said it to give proper credit here



but you get my point...;)
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Or in this case"...it is regret for the hot young things we did not do that is inconsolable." :p
 
"The Dredge" is looking at some timeless, evergreen material here; Questions that never change through the generations.;)
RUBZERK said:
if you're over 30, she should be atleast 21.
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A.Nonymous said:
Two years isn't an age gap no matter how old you are.
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Both good rules, no argument with either.

Please don't think I imagine I have some "wealth of experience" to draw on, (nothing to brag about here), but boy oh boy, is it a sliding scale, a very personal judgement call.

Had my first "serious" relationship at 15, she was 16, and (kinda' like) 10 years "more experienced" than me. I was not ready for that ride, the mere one year "age difference" was crazy out of line.

Later, I was 25 with a 35 year old divorcee mother of two, (The love of my life, a sadly missed opportunity, but it ended ugly).

Then spent several years with a girl same age as me, a girl I never would have imagined myself with, not my type at all; It ended sad, but at the right time for both of us......and she is among my best friends to this day, we cherish the memories.

Then spent some time as a 35 year old with a 25 year old girl; Really smart and sweet, it just didn't work out, (my fault entirely).

Just last month, I made "the ask" of a girl probably 20 years younger than me....(hard to judge, at my advanced age);)......She was more than polite, we had been flirting for a month or more, she's just involved with someone else, otherwise would be interested....(Or else just lying to let me down easy).o_O

And last week, I met a woman in an art gallery who looks like she could be my grandmother, but seems really interesting, and maybe even interested in spending some time with me. (Could be she's only 2 or 3 years older than me, and I don't have an accurate sense of my decrepit old self):rolleyes:, In any case, she seems really old, but she's interesting.

So, to sum up: As long as everyone is over the age of consent, and everyone conducts themselves in a caring and gentle way, without being predatory or lousy.......There is no one easy answer, no God to judge us, and nothing wrong with caring about another person, enjoying their company.
 
I am 44 (45 in 3 1/2 weeks) My beloved wife of nearly 6 years will be 30 in a little less than 2 months. we have been together for nearly 10 years. Do the math.

Am I in a gap too large? For some certainly, for others not so much.

Honestly I had a HUGE problem with it at the start. I told her this. I sent her away. I fought the relationship for nearly a year. But it just wasn't worth fighting what was an unquestionable, uncontrollable connection. She is an old soul and I refuse to grow up, we met in the middle and have been very happy since we gave up trying to explain it or rationalize it. It works and in the final analysis isn't that all that matters?
 
shalemail said:
She is an old soul and I refuse to grow up,
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^^^^^^^^Love it:p, think I have been on both sides of that one!

The 35 YO divorcee who pursued me when I was 25 was genuinely surprised, alarmed, and disturbed to learn I wasn't the same age as herself; I got a whole lecture on "I never would have asked you out, if I had known how young you are; but you seem so kind, polite, and mature, I just assumed......And now I don't know what to do, I can't turn back, blah, blah, blah. (Double edged sword, there.....What I heard was) "You are admirably mature for your age......but ya' look 15 years older than you actually are":confused: And BTW, honey, you are the one with crows-feet just starting to show up around your eyes; Seriously, they make you that much more attractive to me.

Now I'm roughly shalemail's age, and there is no question I have fallen from grace, I'm less mature than ever.;)
And some of that comes from the fact that I have learned the hard way that very few women want to be with someone who is always so serious, always trying so bloody hard to worry about her feelings and do the right thing....it grinds on them after a while. (It's Friday night, shut up, drink this, and kiss me, you fool!!) So I look back, and think "if only I had embraced my "inner 18 year old" when I was 24...." And from there, I think "Why can't I now date that 24 year old girl"? By that age, most of us are who we are going to be in life, there's just a few minor changes that happen on the edges, with additional years.

Others have put their finger right on some of the key points....."Moderately well adjusted adults, no taking advantage, similar perspective and life experience....." But boy howdy, does it get complicated in the details.

When I was 35 and dating the 25 YO, it was fairly clear that we weren't on the same page when it came to popular culture (for instance). Most of the music I enjoy, was just developing, or even 10 years old when I was in diapers; I mined all that gold years later, mostly because my parents were cool. Her parents were ten years younger than my parents, but she grew up in a household where they listened to "The Kingston Trio" or "Chad and Jeremy" albums, over and over again. No judgement, but c'mon......If we're gonna' not get along, shouldn't it be because your'e into Britney Spears, and I can't relate? She was and is a lovely girl, but arguably an older soul than I; She was a librarian when I met her, never owned a TV, cared not one whit about fashion or popular culture, never wore any makeup, and wore a dress on the single occasion of our first date. She preferred long walks and candle light dinners of pizza at home, over any of the activities I (mistakenly assumed) I needed to offer, in order to keep the average 25 year old girl's attention. Sigh, live and learn.

I like the "half your age plus seven" rule in general, but it will come as no surprise that I think it's only a (very good) starting place for a problem as complex as this.

One or two of you enjoy programing, yes?

Who wants to write the formula that has a few hundred nested IF statements?
"Plus 7" could be modified to become a truly universal and foolproof rule............:rolleyes:
Is this 1865, 1956, 0r 2023 A.D.?
Is this California, Alabama, or Czechoslovakia?
Is this a high school dropout, or a postgraduate student?
Is this the oldest, middle, or youngest sibling in the family?
How young and immature were your parents, when they got together?;)

Get cracking, code monkeys........I'm not getting any younger, here!:D
 
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Haha. Yes, quite a bit of difference I agree. However, many girls seem to be dating older guys nowadays anyways so in my opinion I say it's up to him and how he truly feels about her lol.
Not something that might last but it sure can be fun?
 
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