The Punny Side of Life

[rootabaga]

 

[Notes_Norton]

Why do Norwegian warships have a barcode on the side of them?

So that they can Scandinavian

 

[rootabaga]

Dad: Son, can you get me a battery from the drawer so I can tell the time?

Son: No problem, pa, is it for a clock?

Dad: I don't know, son, that's why I need the battery!

 

[olbriar]

 

[Notes_Norton]

I bought shoes from a drug dealer.

I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day

 

[olbriar]

 

[Notes_Norton]

Did you hear about the glass blower who accidentally inhaled?

He got a stomach pane.

 

[olbriar]

That reminds me of the lens grinder that fell into his machine and made a spectacle of himself.

 

[olbriar]

 

[The_Chief]

*- (that's a pretty divisive statement)

 

[Notes_Norton]

Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.


(Groans are appreciated)

 

[The_Chief]

*GROAN*

 

[Notes_Norton]

Thanks!!!

 

[rootabaga]

*GROAN*

^^^ What he said...

 

[olbriar]

 

[olbriar]

 

[Notes_Norton]

Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c?

Because you can’t c in the dark.

 

[olbriar]

 

[olbriar]

 

[Notes_Norton]

 

[olbriar]

 

[olbriar]

 

[Notes_Norton]

I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn't get pasta.

 

[rootabaga]

Part of this may be a repost, but I'm spread too thin to take the time to check...

 

[Notes_Norton]

My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes made me a laughing stock.