A young guy once asked me, "how easy is it to seduce a really large woman?"
I replied, "Piece of cake."
I replied, "Piece of cake."
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Tell me a joke...
- Thread starter Daniel Fernandes
- Start date
Milo Willamson
Extreme Android User
A young guy said to me once "How to easy to suduce a young woman?"
I reply "Hello moto."
I reply "Hello moto."
A young man his dad and grandpa are ready to tee off when the starter assigns them a fourth an absolutely stunning woman.
Each of the men are distracted the entire round as she is incredibly gorgeous.
On the 18th green she is got a 30 foot long putt for a birdie but stops and says You guys have been incredibly nice to me all round without any rude comments or hitting on me Plus I have played the best round of my life.
She smiles and winks at them if one of you can help me sink this final putt to break 80 I will do whatever you want tonight.
The young man immediately rushes over reads the break and says You will need to hit this really hard as it is a lot more uphill than it looks.
The dad then quickly races over to her stares intently at her lie and says It is pretty straight early but then breaks right closer to the cup.
Grandpa then slowly walks over to her takes a quick peek and says That is a gimme.
Each of the men are distracted the entire round as she is incredibly gorgeous.
On the 18th green she is got a 30 foot long putt for a birdie but stops and says You guys have been incredibly nice to me all round without any rude comments or hitting on me Plus I have played the best round of my life.
She smiles and winks at them if one of you can help me sink this final putt to break 80 I will do whatever you want tonight.
The young man immediately rushes over reads the break and says You will need to hit this really hard as it is a lot more uphill than it looks.
The dad then quickly races over to her stares intently at her lie and says It is pretty straight early but then breaks right closer to the cup.
Grandpa then slowly walks over to her takes a quick peek and says That is a gimme.
A man was in court for two murder charges.
The Judge said,"on the 23rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"
"Guilty," the man said.
At this point a man at the back of the courtroom stood up and shouted, "You dirty rat!" The Judge asked the man to sit down and refrain from making any noise.
The Judge then continued: "… and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by beating him to death with a hammer, how do you plead?”
"Guilty,” the man responded.
Again, the same man at the back stood up and shouted even louder, "You dirty, filthy, rotten stinking rat!!”
At this point the Judge called the man to the bench and told him, "I have already asked you to be quiet. If you continue with these outbursts, I will charge you with contempt of court. I can understand your feelings, but what relationship have you to this man?"
He replied, "He's my nextdoor neighbor."
The Judge replied, "I can understand your feelings then, but you must refrain from any comments".
The man replied, "Your Honor, you don't understand. Twice I’ve asked if I could borrow a hammer, and both times he said he didn't have one!”
The Judge said,"on the 23rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"
"Guilty," the man said.
At this point a man at the back of the courtroom stood up and shouted, "You dirty rat!" The Judge asked the man to sit down and refrain from making any noise.
The Judge then continued: "… and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by beating him to death with a hammer, how do you plead?”
"Guilty,” the man responded.
Again, the same man at the back stood up and shouted even louder, "You dirty, filthy, rotten stinking rat!!”
At this point the Judge called the man to the bench and told him, "I have already asked you to be quiet. If you continue with these outbursts, I will charge you with contempt of court. I can understand your feelings, but what relationship have you to this man?"
He replied, "He's my nextdoor neighbor."
The Judge replied, "I can understand your feelings then, but you must refrain from any comments".
The man replied, "Your Honor, you don't understand. Twice I’ve asked if I could borrow a hammer, and both times he said he didn't have one!”
Milo Willamson
Extreme Android User
We all come down to the age of where we all know the creeky floor boards right,
when we think we tiptoe but there is someone who is complaining about it right?
Soooooooooo I think we are loud but we are also silent, until there is a ghost.behind us!
when we think we tiptoe but there is someone who is complaining about it right?
Soooooooooo I think we are loud but we are also silent, until there is a ghost.behind us!
A semi truck loaded with Vicks Vapo-rub overturned on the interstate this morning, spilling its contents and causing all lanes to be closed in both directions. On a good note, there was no congestion all afternoon...
It was autumn, and the natives on the reservation asked their new chief if it was going to be a cold winter.
Raised in the ways of the modern world, the chief had never been taught the old secrets and had no way of knowing whether the winter would be cold or mild. To be on the safe side, he advised the tribe to collect wood and be prepared for a cold winter.A few days later, as a practical afterthought, he called the National Weather Service and asked whether they were forecasting a cold winter. The meteorologist replied that, indeed, he thought the winter would be quite cold. The chief advised the tribe to stock even more wood.
A couple of weeks later, the chief checked in again with the Weather Service. “Does it still look like a cold winter?” asked the chief.
“It sure does,” replied the meteorologist. “It looks like a very cold winter.” The chief advised the tribe to gather up every scrap of wood they could find.
A couple of weeks later, the chief called the Weather Service again and asked how the winter was looking at that point. The meteorologist said, “We’re now forecasting that it will be one of the coldest winters on record!”
“Really?” said the chief. “How can you be so sure?”
The meteorologist replied, “The natives are collecting wood like crazy!”