A Father's Day perspective

[lunatic59]

This year I am a little reflective about Father's Day. The male role models in my life have been gone for 10 years and one I miss terribly, the other not so much. My grandfather was an incredible individual with many marvelous experiences and accomplishments in his life. I value every moment I got to spend with him and miss him daily. He passed away from Alzheimer's disease at the age of 93.

My father. It's difficult to explain it and not easy to hear. A few years after he passed away from prostate cancer, I wrote down my memory of the last time we were together before he died.

WARNING: This is not a warm tribute and may be disturbing to read.

Lunch with Father.

 

[argedion]

This year I am a little reflective about Father's Day. The male role models in my life have been gone for 10 years and one I miss terribly, the other not so much. My grandfather was an incredible individual with many marvelous experiences and accomplishments in his life. I value every moment I got to spend with him and miss him daily. He passed away from Alzheimer's disease at the age of 93.

My father. It's difficult to explain it and not easy to hear. A few years after he passed away from prostate cancer, I wrote down my memory of the last time we were together before he died.

WARNING: This is not a warm tribute and may be disturbing to read.

Lunch with Father.

very interesting read. thanks for sharing

I find both fathers day and mothers day very facadish celebrations. I grew up in boys homes and foster homes. Both parents alive an well. Neither were ready for the responsibility of raising me. I have a relationship with them both as I have moved on from the past, however this time of the year when picking out cards for them its hard to find one that is more truthful to the actual circumstances for which our relationship is. I normally by some bs card that just makes a joke of the thing or something brief and to the point of saying happy mothers/fathers day. The whole concept of a "loving" parent is so foreign to me that I think the whole idea is a grand illusion designed to keep us held to a standard which we have no understanding of.

Now I am a parent and I will admit I'm horrible at it. I can't share with the kids any wonderful childhood memories like I try to give them however I'm so wrapped in my world I really don't have time for theirs. Its not something I do on purpose its just how I'm wired. I've always been a loner and having to share a life with others is just so surreal to me that I continually think I'm going to wake up and find that this was all some crazy dream.

 

[lunatic59]

very interesting read. thanks for sharing

I find both fathers day and mothers day very facadish celebrations. I grew up in boys homes and foster homes. Both parents alive an well. Neither were ready for the responsibility of raising me. I have a relationship with them both as I have moved on from the past, however this time of the year when picking out cards for them its hard to find one that is more truthful to the actual circumstances for which our relationship is. I normally by some bs card that just makes a joke of the thing or something brief and to the point of saying happy mothers/fathers day. The whole concept of a "loving" parent is so foreign to me that I think the whole idea is a grand illusion designed to keep us held to a standard which we have no understanding of.

Now I am a parent and I will admit I'm horrible at it. I can't share with the kids any wonderful childhood memories like I try to give them however I'm so wrapped in my world I really don't have time for theirs. Its not something I do on purpose its just how I'm wired. I've always been a loner and having to share a life with others is just so surreal to me that I continually think I'm going to wake up and find that this was all some crazy dream.

Completely understood. My wife of 27 years who had a loving and traditional father (I won't say involved because he was considerably older then the norm and from a very traditional Austrian family model .. naturally since they are Austrian) cannot even now understand my mixed feelings about my father. In my son's youth when my dad was still alive, I deliberately ran interference because I didn't want him exposed to the crap my brothers and I had to deal with. I doubt he understood it and now that he is 22 and ready to hear some of it words fail me. Thankfully he's never been overly curious about it, although I have told him a little bit.

I've told my wife on many occasions that I try to make every day special, so if she only feels special on birthdays, mother's days and anniversaries, then she should kick my a$$ out and find someone who does. I don't want or need a special day for recognition for doing what I'd be doing anyway. They might as well give me a "Happy Breathing Day" card.