If you try out some of the alternative Launchers (ADW, Go Launcher or Launcher Pro), they may have what you're looking for.
You can have any ringtone you want on android. If you create a folder called Notifications & Ringtones on your SD Card, you can drop any music file in either and it can be used for SMS/Email alerts and Ringtones respectively.
There are sooooo many ways to customize android im sure you could come up with a setup that fits you. There are a lot of apps that do have iphone based themes. For example handcent sms, texting app that you can change to look like the iphone texting app.
Open the android market and in the search box type iphone theme. A bunch of stuff will come up. I believe go launcher is one launcher that does have the iphone based themes to it.
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