There should be an option to "swap" calls which essentially places the current user on hold and answers the incoming call. You then need to "swap" back rather than hanging up with the 2nd call because otherwise it will disconnect both calls.
I'm just speaking from memory but I'm pretty sure. If you can duplicate this by:
Initiating a call with your wife
Using Skype or another online system to call your wife while your call is connected
Take a screen shot of the "incoming call" screen
I'm guessing we can better diagnose your problem and find a solution.
I'm with Rob on this one. if she still has that problem, reach out to your carrier and make sure you're provisioned for call waiting and/or 3way calling
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