Chuck Norris

[Roxors]

I know there is an app for this but it doesn't have all of the Chuck Norris jokes on there....

So if you got one post it here.

"Chuck Norris doesn't breathe he holds air hostage."

"Chuck Norris WILL survive in 2012."

"Chuck Norris cried once, but God made him promise not to ever flood the earth again."

 

[Ninja Monkey]

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

 

[Roxors]

Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion, now Neo is "The Two"

 

[NightAngel79]

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

 

[Roxors]

Chuck Norris invented Water.

 

[NightAngel79]

Jesus walks on water, Chuck Norris can swim through concrete

 

[NightAngel79]

Type exactly this on google.com "google chuck norris" then hit the I'm feeling lucky button

 

[Roxors]

Type exactly this on google.com "google chuck norris" then hit the I'm feeling lucky button

done a long time ago, and i am still running, hence the current location, oh snap time to bug out Chuck Norris is coming....

 

[CrazyTechnoBoy]

FACT:Chuck Norris once fell while climbing in California. It is now known as the San Andreas Fault.

 

[Roxors]

Fact: Chuck Norris hates when people capitalize every word in a sentence.

 

[eyebeam]

Fact: Chuck Norris hates when people capitalize every word in a sentence.

Nice!

 

[jree]

Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything for a klondike bar

Chuck Norris can drown you with air

The sun can't look chuck norris directly in the eyes

Chuck Norris beat his own shadow at rock, paper, sissors

 

[jree]

Type exactly this on google.com "google chuck norris" then hit the I'm feeling lucky button

This is by far the best thing that I have seen on my computer since I first discovered porn

 

[CrazyTechnoBoy]

lol. and hey roxors, im changing. i might do it sometimes but im truely changing! lol

 

[Roxors]

Chuck Norris isn't allowed to wash his clothes in the oceans anymore. The tsunamies were killing too many people.

 

[Roxors]

lol. and hey roxors, im changing. i might do it sometimes but im truely changing! lol

LMAO that works for me, i just thought of it so posted it

 

[NightAngel79]

Chuck Norris burns ants with a magnified glass at night.

 

[jree]

Just made this one up myself:

Chuck Norris can hold an iphone 4 any way he wants.

No? No? ah whadya know bout comedy

 

[NightAngel79]

When Bruce Banner gets angry he turns in the incredible hulk, when the incredible hulk gets angry he turns into huck Norris.

 

[NightAngel79]

Chuck Norris likes to knit quilts...and by 'knit' I mean 'kick', and by 'quilts' I mean 'babies'.

 

[NightAngel79]

When Chuck Norris was born, the attending nurse screamed, "OH MY GOD, IT'S CHUCK NORRIS!!!" and promptly had sex with him. By this time, this was the third person Chuck Norris had slept with.

 

[NightAngel79]

Chuck Norris hides his pillow underneath his gun.

 

[NightAngel79]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.[/FONT]

 

[Roxors]

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood just never his own.

 

[NightAngel79]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f*cking Indian.
[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten. [/FONT]