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Damn...

Vinsanity93

Vinsanity93

Android Enthusiast
So apparently I think I got into my first friend zone with this girl :(. I guess I accidentally was "too nice" to her. It's not the fact that I don't want to be her friend, I at least want a chance with her, but I never ever expected to get into the friend zone...

Any ideas on how to get out? I'm not a pushover or doormat but I'm not trying to be an asshole.
 
Get her drunk and then sleep with her...in the morning afterwards, say "oh, i'm sorry...you just wanted to be friends?" Then if she reacts positive and you have a relationship, great! If she reacts negatively and you don't, then she closed the door and your don't have to be the asshole!
 
ScorpDX said:
Get her drunk and then sleep with her...in the morning afterwards, say "oh, i'm sorry...you just wanted to be friends?" Then if she reacts positive and you have a relationship, great! If she reacts negatively and you don't, then she closed the door and your don't have to be the asshole!
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That's hardly the way into a girls heart man...

OP if you genuinely like the girl (and just dont want to get laid) show her how you feel, but subtly.
 
IOWA said:
That's hardly the way into a girls heart man..
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I was joking for the most part, however it largely depends on the girl. You might be surprised at how many long lasting relationship have spawned from drunken mistakes!
 
ScorpDX said:
You might be surprised at how many long lasting relationship have spawned from drunken mistakes!
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Yea!!.... shotgun weddings... great stuff I suppose, if you enjoy ****ed up relationships and divorces. That's what happened with my older step sister. She uhh... 'got around' all through high school and continued to do so after graduation and it caught up with her. Now she's married to an uber douche who spends all his money on booze, games, and going out to the bar with his friends, leaving her at home with barely enough money to take care of the kid and herself. They've been kicked out of 2 houses, an apartment, and are now living at the husbands parents house in the basement.

Drunken mistakes are grand, aren't they?
 
ScorpDX said:
Get her drunk and then sleep with her...in the morning afterwards, say "oh, i'm sorry...you just wanted to be friends?" Then if she reacts positive and you have a relationship, great! If she reacts negatively and you don't, then she closed the door and your don't have to be the asshole!
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Attached is a cleaned up version of your avatar. DRM on Open Source Logos bugs the shiznit out of me.
 

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yeah.. you might be screwed.. in a bad way.. :P

if you really want more than friends... not just sex....
only thing to do at this point.. is come clean.
make sure she knows what you want. put it on the table.

if you like her so much...that you can not deal with just friends.. because it would bother you too much to see her date others.. then you have to tell her so!
 
dan330 said:
yeah.. you might be screwed.. in a bad way.. :P

if you really want more than friends... not just sex....
only thing to do at this point.. is come clean.
make sure she knows what you want. put it on the table.

if you like her so much...that you can not deal with just friends.. because it would bother you too much to see her date others.. then you have to tell her so!
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+1


(and no prob scorp!)
 
ScorpDX said:
Get her drunk and then sleep with her...in the morning afterwards, say "oh, i'm sorry...you just wanted to be friends?" Then if she reacts positive and you have a relationship, great! If she reacts negatively and files assult charges against you, then she closed the door and your don't have to be the asshole!
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Fixed.
 
+1 to the being open thing. that is one of the most important parts of any relationship. I try not to keep anything from my GF and the same with her. if she does something that i find innapropriate or wrong ill let her know how it makes me feel. Sometimes she will continue which is okay but at least she knows how I feel.
 
From a female point of view:

My husband was just a really good friend before we started dating. HOWEVER... I never would have known he was interested in a relationship until he told me. I had make a personal call if I wanted to be more than friends, but once I knew there was interest I actually *thought* about it. We're coming up on our five year anniversary, and I am SO glad we were friends first. Marrying your best friend is awesome. :)

Don't put her on the spot... bring it up in passing on the phone or something so she has time to think about it without feeling pressured. If she still says no, then, well.. you tried.

I would also veto the drunken sex idea. Great way to get an assault/rape charge leveled against you if she's not interested in you that way.
 
How do you know your in the friend zone? Did she say your like a brother? That always is bad.... Anyways I would tell her soon, the longer you allow it to go on the more she may feel weird or even betrayed about it when you do bring it up.
 
VegasOnAcid said:
How do you know your in the friend zone? Did she say your like a brother? That always is bad.... Anyways I would tell her soon, the longer you allow it to go on the more she may feel weird or even betrayed about it when you do bring it up.
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No not that bad lol but she did say I'm a nice guy (not 100% sure but that kinda sounds like I'm in the friend zone)
 
ScorpDX said:
Get her drunk and then sleep with her...in the morning afterwards, say "oh, i'm sorry...you just wanted to be friends?" Then if she reacts positive and you have a relationship, great! If she reacts negatively and you don't, then she closed the door and your don't have to be the asshole!
Click to expand...

That is some EFF'D UP advice. But I can't argue with your logic.

p.s. just realized a wrote logic and I have a vulcan avatar. Purely coincidence.
 
Getting out of the friend zone is not impossible but it will take some clever moves on your part to determine if she might be interested. Remember, friends usually returns texts, answer phone calls and are available. Do that for a week or two then slowly start making yourself a little bet LESS available. Then when you finally do talk just say you've been busy, that you've gone out on a few casual dates and then gauge her reaction to those comments.

It might take not being able to see/talk to you as much for her to realize she might like you as something more than friends.

Also is there any backstory? Has she been single for a while? How long have you known her, etc?
 
Potvin63 said:
Getting out of the friend zone is not impossible but it will take some clever moves on your part to determine if she might be interested. Remember, friends usually returns texts, answer phone calls and are available. Do that for a week or two then slowly start making yourself a little bet LESS available. Then when you finally do talk just say you've been busy, that you've gone out on a few casual dates and then gauge her reaction to those comments.

It might take not being able to see/talk to you as much for her to realize she might like you as something more than friends.

Also is there any backstory? Has she been single for a while? How long have you known her, etc?
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Yea single since March I think and I known her since about 7th or 8th grade. He last bf she went out with for about 3 years tho
 
Vinsanity93 said:
Yea single since March I think and I known her since about 7th or 8th grade. He last bf she went out with for about 3 years tho
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wow.. from 7th grade... and have known her through many bf (s)...

sorry.. you are F-ed-up...
it too late .. you are in the Friend-zone...deep in the zone!

you got to make a stand... dont beat behind the bush.. no hints.. they will all miss the point.
you got to ... just tell her.. how you feel.
tell her "i want to take you out on a date.. and see what we can find together".
 
I 100% percent agree on coming out and telling the truth about how you feel about her and wanted to take your 'friendship' to the next level. If she says no, at least you know and wont be living in the 'what if' scenario. No isnt the end of the world. what is? is when you dont MAN up and she finds another guy but run to you when they have a fight. Crying and weeping about how bad this guy is and she cant leave him cause she in love with him. And you have to put up with it while your heart is torn on the inside. You cant really be friend with someone when one has 'feeling' for the other person and not say it. I have a friend who WAS in the same position. She would come to him when she has BF issues. They would eat lunch together. She would come over and cooked dinner...etc..but he was in the friend zone. His heart would be torn apart when she cries about how these guys were treating her..etc..So after about a yr of me telling him, he came out and said it. It turns out she just wanted him a for as shoulder to cry on thats it. So he stop hanging around her because it was affecting his feeling and clouding his judgment since he was so in love with this girl.
 
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