I just got back from the Verizon store. It's dead, Jim. The guy messed around with the old one for a bit and it appeared that the memory card got corrupted. So, he just replaced it.
The new one feels different, which is probably a trick of the mind, but the screen does not appear slightly green like the old one did, but it also doesn't seem as snappy. The power button is not nearly as crisp, so I'm definitely leery. It also didn't sync anything that the old phone did, which is a little disappointing.
More setup fun!