Help phone gets hot and goes full derp

[AmishFury]

occasionally my phone will become unusably slow, when it does it always goes along with the phone getting very warm to the touch and a massive battery drain

almost always this includes a notable uptick in google services battery usage

this is becoming all too common (at least once a day anymore) and i've seriously considered throwing my phone at a wall a few times

 

[AmishFury]

seriously someone has to have some kind of answer i'm about to take a hammer to this piece of garbage

i'd root and flash but there doesn't appear to even be any half decent rom support