To explain the signal disparities:
On Gingerbread, 4G devices always showed the 3G signal strength (even though it would say "4G" next to the bars, it was actually reporting the 3G signal strength).
ICS changed this, and now the bars, and the dBm reading, accurately report the 4G signal strength when on a 4G signal and report the 3G signal strength when on a 3G signal.
In my experience, 3G typically is a stronger signal, so if I switch to a 3G only mode, the signal will typically read 10-20 dBm's higher, i.e. if I have a 4G signal -85dBm strong, then my 3G signal is usually aroun -75 to -65dBm strong.
So what you are most likely experiencing is not a decreased signal strength, but rather a more accurate reading of that strength. The main factor is real world usage: Are you actually experiencing signal problems?