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Tell me a joke...

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: “Hello”
WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes”
WOMAN: “I’m at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”
WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2026 models. I saw one I really liked.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: “$195,000.”
MAN: “OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options.”
WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $5,950,000.”
MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but you'd better offer $6,200,000.”
WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you!”
MAN: “Bye, I love you, too.”
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he smiles and asks, “Anyone know whose phone this is?”
 
My wife and I decided to use a secret code word when we wanted to be intimate so our 5-year-old wouldn't catch on. We chose the word "typewriter".

One night I told my daughter “go tell mommy daddy needs to type a letter".

She went to her mom and came back saying"mommy says you can't right now there's a red ribbon in the typewriter".

A few days later my wife told her "go tell daddy he can type that letter now".

She came to me then ran back to her mom and said, daddy said never mind he already wrote the letter by hand and it only took a minute and he told me not to tell you!
 
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