you usually have to either check their usage (including cached RAM) and their frequency of being restarted, but as a general rule, the demand, in order:
1. games (heaviest)
2. social networking apps (medium to large depending on how social you are)
3. photography
4. email, sms, calendar, etc (lowest demand)
permissions during install can shed some light, the more busy an app is, such as Facebook needing to use Google Maps to locate you, means that not only is Facebook doing things, but Maps is being used as well doubling the demand. if an app has very low permissions it's not likely to use as much. apps that need GPS, location data, reading phone state, access to the data network, etc are going to be RAM hogs.
however a lot of it is trial and error. if your phone suddenly lags like a 486 trying to burn a CD-ROM in Windows 98 after you install something, i'd uninstall it.