Well I've done a quick scan of the Desire Android Development forum at XDA, and all of the JB ROMs I've looked at say video camera is choppy, which is what I remembered. Not a huge surprise, as I think they all rely heavily on the Evervolv work, so if it's not perfect there it probably won't be elsewhere. Problems with USB tethering seem to be common too. If you don't use those features then you may be OK.
Re. ICS, my impression is that once JB came out people stopped working on ICS for the Desire. However,
this ROM says in its thread title that it is stable and has good video.
Sandvold's ICS ROM was the most popular and probably the one that was taken furthest. The description in that thread claims that everything but the FM radio is working - I've not really used any of these, but if I wanted to try Android 4 on the Desire that's probably the one I'd try first. Personally I've never felt the need to run ICS or JB on the Desire (though I have just upgraded to a much more powerful handset, but that's after 3 years with the Desire).
The other option is to try one of the many stable Gingerbread ROMs. That may not sound like much of an update, but an AOSP ROM (no HTC Sense) will be quite different, and generally more responsive, than the stock 2.3, and you might find it more responsive and stable than ICS or JB on this hardware.
If you want to find out what ROMs are available, the
Desire Index thread at XDA is a good place to look.
