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Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris is the reason OTD is a vampire it was the only way she could live after the roundhouse kick.
 
Chuck E. Cheese's was kicked in the head by Chuck Norris and nmayer79 for using their names...

Chuck Norris of course let nmayer go first since his roundhouse kick could never amount to Chuck Norris'....
 
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris roundhoused a horse.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
 
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
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Funniest so far!!!
 
Gotta love Lars Monsen! Norway's "Chuck" without the roundhouse kicks, but follows the nature itself! :p
 
"Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer."
 
They once tried to name a hurricane after Chuck Norris but he wouldn't let them because it wouldn't be powerful enough.
 
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