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This a network setting. I don't believe there is a way to change it. Sorry.
There has to be a way. If you look in the contacts, there is an option to send caller directly to voicemail with no rings. If it can be changed to no rings, we should be able to add one or two.
You may be able to contact sprint and request extended ring time before vm picks up. worth a shot to at least try and see if something like that is available
I believe the solution is posted here:
http://androidforums.com/sprint-htc-hero/19422-ringer-lag-rings-other-end-few-times-before-ringing-hero.html
Takes a bit of work being on the phone with Sprint, but it seems to help those who have tried it.