Ok... this is stupid.

[Snow_Fox]

So, I have pretty much decided regardless of whatever the cost/benefit ratio is.. I'm about to get my own line of service. Most likely get a motorola defy for Christmas and then get an even more plus agreement after.

Although, the circumstances leading up to me being this annoyed and well irked are rather astounding.

It was in the beginning of the year when the at&t branded nexus one was out that I decided I really wanted for the first time, a smartphone and it would be worth paying for a data plan if needed. Especially with people paying 10$ on the medianet plan and getting away with it.

I discussed with with my mom while visiting and she said she would discuss it with my stepfather who was not there at the moment. Later on I received the answer of "no". As in "no" they wouldn't pay for the data plan, and "no" they would not let me pay for the data plan.

I was quite confounded by this but, wasn't that worried.. as much as I hated to admit it, my mom had a point it was not needed and it was a lot of money to spend on a phone and data plan.

So later on.. at&t decides to get rid of unlimited data plans, and I tell my mother to pass along the news "If you want a smartphone, you've got three days, get one now or your losing the chance to get unlimited data".

Sure enough.. they didn't. I actually found out later that my stepdad outright responded to her "he doesn't know what the **** he is talking about". Despite working for a place which sold phones at the time and reading the offical statement from at&t on their website".

So fast forward a few more months its been I guess 8 since I originally wanted to jump on the nexus one.. and my stepdad gets a blackberry... worth 100$ off contract and still actually paid 9$ for it.. Waste of an upgrade if I've *EVER* seen one.

Few months later my mom gets an iphone. He then ends up paying full price for an iphone himself! 600$ or more.. Also he outright lied about why he got it. I asked him what happened to the blackberry, he said when he got it from that at&t store the girl put a password on it and later on he didn't know what the password was, and no one else in the at&t store knew. Later on I found out he told my mother the trackball wasn't working.

So.. a month or two after all that, I end up moving back in with my parents when my girlfriend and I decided to split up. It would have been stupid to try and find a room mate in a pinch like that for a lot of reasons.

so now here I am a few months later and the one or two times I've even mentioned smartphones or been talking about them, he has showed open hostility towards me getting one, even if I was just discussing smartphones in general.. He would deviate off topic and make it a point to tell me "your not getting one anytime soon" in a fairly rude way.

So.. today my brother looks at me and goes "by the way last night he(dad) said 'he(me this time) isn't getting a data plan because, its illegal to look at porn until your 18, and he isn't getting a data plan until you are all 18 and can all get one"

For those of you not in the loop on this. I am 22. I've been over 18 for 4 years now. My youngest brother is 16 and will be 18 in 2 years.

So.. I will be 24 before my parents "let" me get a data plan.

Now.. this is all fine and dandy but, the problem here is, I start my first group project class next semester.. and the predominate way people communicate in my major is via email. I originally wanted a smartphone because, I wanted to be able to check the weather as soon as I wake up instead of having to turn on a computer spend an extra 10 minutes finding out everything I need on the computer and shutting it back down. It was for all intents and purposes "PDA uses".

soo.... yeah.. I'm about to try and get a job... (only reason I haven't before now is I had school 4 days a week, and wasn't able to transfer from my other job by the school)... Event hough I'll be going to school 4 days a week next semester again... at this point it seems worth it to try and get on my own plan.. Maybe a Simple Mobile plan would do ok..unlimited everything for 60$ a month..

Although it annoys me I can't just pay 34$ a month and stay on my parents line.. 9.99$ and I get to share minutes + the unlimited family text data plan.. and 25$ or 15$ and I could get on data .. hell I'd settle for 15$ if they were paying it or I were paying it..

So instead of getting to pay 34$ or 24$.. I get to pay a ful 60$.. and my parents are usually the *FIRST* to say " save money wehre you can"

 

[gallandof]

well being on a parents account is a great financial decision and saves one average 30 or so dollars. (the data plan in and of itself) also at 22 odds are hes in college and paying for a bunch of other shit so i wouldnt be surprised if a 100$ phone line breaks the bank for him but a 30$ plan wont. Also in the unfortunate chance he misses a payment, bam goes against his credit where as an on time payment doesnt. Theres plenty of reasons to stay on a familys account/

and its amazing how many 20 somethings parents DO owe them something.



Any who back on topic. sucks that you have to go onto your own account the extra saved money would be nice, also sorry to hear about you and the GF. best of luck with everything else.

 

[btswein]

It's amazing how many 20 somethings still believe their parents owe them something...

Coming from "barely_legal_lover" I find that comment funny. And BTW, if you read the comment, he's 22 and still in school. Go solve YOUR personal issues elsewhere.

First off, the OP offered to pay for his own data plan, so this really is a sticky situation to be in, I don't get the feeling that he (OP) feels his parents owe him something. I don't think an explanation/conversation between two adults of why you can't have something is asking for much either.

Next, I don't blame your for being on your family plan, I'm still on mine. Times are tough, I'd rather cut my expenses where I can rather than be like some of the 30-40 somethings that have to move back home because they can't afford stuff without a job. People in general need to start cutting back IMO. Honestly, I'd love to downgrade my data plan to 200MB on AT&T or eliminate it completely but they don't allow that on smartphones!

 

[Dark Jedi]

You know that's life. You're 22 time to live your own life. You want a smartphone then get your own line. If you can't afford it then guess it wasn't ment to be. Its your step fathers service. He has final say over what you can and cannot get. Like the old saying goes my house my rules. Don't like it? Get your own house.

 

[Kelmar]

I'll play devils advocate, but maybe the OP's folks are also looking out for themselves. That is, a two year contract PLUS the extra money that they would have to pay if the OP fell through. Ultimately though, the OP has the right though IMO, if they won't let you add it to their plan, perhaps it's time to get your own.

 

[Snow_Fox]

@gallandof eh. Everything worked out for the best. Her and I are still friends and we lived together happily for almost 3 years. I don't regret anything and neither does she.. We made our mistakes but, we never cheated on eachother and we never stopped loving eachother.. But, it takes more than that to make a relationship. It is hard when you are a couple trying to balance school, work, and still trying to enjoy life where you can.

@btswein As much as I have a wifi hotspot around me.. the data plan is borderline useless... but, at&t really doesn't care.

@Dark Jedi you know, if my argument was entirely subjective, I would agree.. but, when I can objectively argue there is no logic and he is being stupid.. there isn't much argument. Actually using that logic, I think its time my mom, both my brothers, and myself all find a new house..

@kelmar ah, excellent! A decent devils advocate always makes the conversation more entertaining. "barely_legal_lover" failed to in anyway provide a decent argument. Although I did not explicitly state this in the above, There would be no contract signed. If you noticed I mentioned I would have paid full price for the device which means no contract at the cost of paying about 600$ for the nexus one and at the time although I never even got a chance to discuss it, I was tempted to order the n1 anywa and just hand him in cash the cost of the data plan for two years :/

@Everyone. I have never said that I feel my parents "owe" me anything. My only argument in this is that they are being illogical and really, at the end of the day making a stupid decision.

 

[Dark Jedi]

Just sounds like a person that looks for anything to hate his step father. Look you're 22 time to live your own life. Why your mom is with him is none of your business. Let her live her and you live yours. Jealous your mom is paying more attention to her husband and taking his side over yours ?

 

[Snow_Fox]

I edited my last post because, I deviated off into a rant.

How about this.

I know he doesn't have to be logical.. so stop defending that point, I already agree.

 

[UBRocked]

Take it easy everyone. The OP obviously came here to rant a little and perhaps get some "peer" guidance and advice (even if he didn't specifically ask for it )

Family plans are a great thing but have their downfalls. We put my sister-in-law on our family plan to save her money after her divorce but it caused friction when she would go over minutes and her 250 text messages that we were paying for.

Get your own plan and you'll spend more but you will control your own bill/usage. If you and your parents can't see eye-to-eye on this...not much you can do.

Couldn't you buy and android phone off contract and just activate it as a phone (I don't know if the carriers allow this anymore)? You could use the wifi if you don't need 3G that often. Then you could stay on your parent's plan and still get emails to your device when over wifi.

 

[Dark Jedi]

Well he was just coming off as a whiny lil brat and thought he was like 15 or so. We have taken it to pm so we don't have it out in the public forum. Like its always said there are three sides to every story. His, theirs, and the truth. I am sure we wont hear from his step father or his mother.

You have to admit it didn't help to come on here and attack his step father and then his mother. Showed him not to be to logical.

 

[G.Armour]

Dude, by the time I was your age I was already married, had a kid and supporting my own family and running my household. Get your own line, your old enough now to where Mommy and step daddy don't, or shouldn't control your life.

 

[ekyle]

Dude, by the time I was your age I was already married, had a kid and supporting my own family and running my household. Get your own line, your old enough now to where Mommy and step daddy don't, or shouldn't control your life.

I know what you mean. I just turned 23 yesterday, had my second daughter 11/22. Still living with my inlaws for now since my finace and I are both still in school and I'm making enough right now where I work :-/

--Back on topic--
I got "my own line" (under my mother's name but I paid for it) when I was 16 (did an assumption of liability when I turned 18) so I wouldn't have to deal with it (didn't have the stepdad issues though). I just had to make sure to budget the money every month.

 

[shawn1224]

Dude, by the time I was your age I was already married, had a kid and supporting my own family and running my household. Get your own line, your old enough now to where Mommy and step daddy don't, or shouldn't control your life.

I have to agree with this but without all the venom attached to it. It's time to man up and handle your own business. Sounds like your stepfather is being an ass about the whole data plan situation (maybe he's the one looking at porn), but at the end of the day it's really not your decision to make. Bottom line is you have to decide whether a smart phone is a priority, and if it is, then you have to decide how you will pay for it.

 

[byteware]

Ok... I've read through your post, and the responses.

First off (as a stepfather), your stepfather sounds like a jerk. You don't lie like that to family, and expect things to be kosher. They just won't be.

I was on my parents plan for awhile in my 20s because it just made good financial sense to me. When it stopped making financial sense, then I stopped being on their plan.

It sounds like you and your step father have issues with each other. I don't know if your issues caused his, or his caused yours, or they've both just always been there... and there's no telling from an internet posting of one side of the story.

However, He's lied to you. At that point you can't trust him to be honest with you about the situation.

Since you can't trust him, I would say get your own line. That doesn't mean you should get a smartphone, but you SHOULD get your own line. That much I honestly believe.

Whether or not you should get a smartphone is a decision you will have to look at and justify financially. I can't make that judgment call, but from a family aspect, I Would get your own line. It costs more money, but there are issues with you being on the family line.

 

[Member138406]

Porn is a serious issue. I dont blame them!

jk.. I would just get on my own line and not have to deal with them.. The extra money paid will be well worth it. And I dont know about ATT. But on Verizon the admin line on family plan gets early upgrades.. So if you upgrade your phone a lot you will save a lot of money and probably arguments with step dad and mom over time..

 

[ashykat]

I think a lot of these responses are uncalled for. People are allowed to rant, this is the Lounge afterall, and he doesn't seem to imply that he thinks his parents should pay for him. He's offering to pay and his stepfather is being unreasonable in my eyes. Obviously it's time to get your own plan. If you're going for an Even More Plus plan with T-Mobile you'd better hurry. They've stopped advertising the plan and it sounds like it's going to be phased out. Apparently if you ask for it specifically you can still get in on it. Also, depending on your credit, T-Mobile offers an Equipment Installment Plan which will allow you to pay off your phone over 20 months without any interest. Pretty sweet.

 

[byteware]

so do it then already.... you come off as a kid who's parents could buy you a an 08 Corvette at 16 and you complain that it wasn't an 11.

you talk so big that you can afford all this stuff, so why don't you. Make a punk move like "hand him the money" and try and demasculate him in his eyes in front of your mother, you'll be lucky if you don't end up looking for a place to stay. and btw - you are old enough to get your ass whipped for a punk move like that.

I wonder if you can afford that $600 device when you have rent due at the end of the month.

You come off as a person who is jealous of people who live off of their parents dime...

That being said, the OP can obviously provide for rent, and his needs, hence his job, his previous housing arrangement, etc...

He will again be out of his parents house when he finds a suitable arrangement, and not something that happens spur of the moment, and could have lifelong implications to his life and credit.

 

[agg009]

So, I'm just curious, but did they also prohibit you and your little brother from having internet access at home?

Cause we all know the internet is for porn.

 

[Tangent]

With the economy the way it is I understand that you can't just up and move out, but you should at least be on your own phone plan. If you can't move out, you should still do as much as possible to be independent. Perhaps discuss paying modest rent for your room, getting yourself a fridge, and paying part of the utilities even. It's time for your parents to treat you as an adult but that's a pretty hard point to press when they're still supporting you with room, board, your phone bill, etc...

I find it hilarious that your parents think your brother doesn't already watch all the porn he wants even without a data plan on a phone. I guarantee he's seen stuff that would make your dad's head explode.

 

[byteware]

With the economy the way it is I understand that you can't just up and move out, but you should at least be on your own phone plan. If you can't move out, you should still do as much as possible to be independent. Perhaps discuss paying modest rent for your room, getting yourself a fridge, and paying part of the utilities even. It's time for your parents to treat you as an adult but that's a pretty hard point to press when they're still supporting you with room, board, your phone bill, etc...

I find it hilarious that your parents think your brother doesn't already watch all the porn he wants even without a data plan on a phone. I guarantee he's seen stuff that would make your dad's head explode.

you f-n moron... Sorry... I went off on a tangent.

bad joke... but I couldn't help it.

 

[byteware]

entitlement is not a good thing

and the OP is absolutely not acting entitled.

then it's time for the little chick to spread his wings and fly.... what's he waiting for, middle age?

Did you not read what was posted? He and his girlfriend shared a place. They split. Instead of immediately jumping in with a roommate on short notice, he decided to move home until he had time to find one and think things through.

18-24 is plenty of time to figure it out and not consider it spur of the moment.

Again.. I've got to wonder if you even read what he posted... He's already been living on his own, with his girlfriend. He only moved back home after they split. Instead of making a spur of the moment decision on a roommate.

fwiw - I waited to move out until I graduated college. I understand that part of it. However, while waiting, I did NOT presume that my parents owed me an explanation as to a financial decision of THEIRS and I didn't question it if I didn't agree with it.

I'm gonna call BS on this one. You've never made a case for something to try to persuade them? I'm absolutely going to call BS.

But, like I said, making moves like "I'll pay for it all at once" is a move that could lead a STEP-Father, who owes you even LESS than a real dad, to whip your ass.

as a STEP-FATHER, I can tell you that every STEP-FATHER owes MORE to the child than the biological father does. We know going into it that there is a child involved. We, in essence, marry a child and the mother.

 

[Tangent]

you f-n moron... Sorry... I went off on a tangent.

bad joke... but I couldn't help it.

 

[byteware]

blah blah.... time to get your own phone line then....

Which can have the same effect as paying full price for the phone and giving them the money for two years in advance...

However, that is likely what the OP needs to do in this case.

 

[byteware]

I don't understand the problem then? Why, if you're 24, it's not your real father, out on his own? What's he waiting for?


sounds like this is a clash of a mama's boy and a whipped new hubby who won't stand up to her and tell her to cut the umbilical cord.

lol... Ok... repeat after me.

He only moved back home recently, after splitting with his girlfriend. They were living together. He moved back home so that he could properly vet his living situation, instead of making a spur of the moment decision.

Rinse, lather, repeat and let me know if you still don't understand.

 

[jamor]

poor snow_fox.. you guys are way harsh on him for no reason.

Bragging about having kids at 20 and calling him a mamas boy doesn't make you cool at all.