My wife and I decided to use a secret code word when we wanted to be intimate so our 5-year-old wouldn't catch on. We chose the word "typewriter".
One night I told my daughter “go tell mommy daddy needs to type a letter".
She went to her mom and came back saying"mommy says you can't right now...
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: “Hello”
WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes”
WOMAN: “I’m at the mall now and...
Truly in the spirit of Anytime is Grilling Time, I put a shoulder on the smoke during the blizzard. It's actually a great blizzard cook as I just let it be while I clean up.
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