Major, if you really want to bait him, start like this:
Sprint sucks.
No really, it suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks!
It sucks so bad that they had to pay PC World to say nice things about them. That is why Apple didn't put the iPhone on their network because it couldn't handle it. The other reason that Sprint sucks so badly is because the leadership in that company is conservative politically and is doing all it can to subvert Obama's carefully implemented plan to restore our nation to greatness.
Oh, and it is Sprint's fault that we're this capitalistic, racist, hellhole and when the Mexicans finish conquering Texas, they are going to hijack all of Sprint's towers and make it so that the only phone that will work for them is the Samsung Glyde because Americans don't deserve a phone as good as the Instinct even.
Then you have to close with: Adobe and the Tea Party will be distant memories because Harry Reid is going to fix it so that sanctions will be raised against both of those and we are forced to use
the Gimp for all of our graphics needs in the future.
.
.
.
OK, I'll be going into the witness protection program now, but that is how you bait IOWA!