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Bullying
- Thread starter Jordan
- Start date
cwhatever
Life Goes On
i don't have any kids and back in the day kids were different, some were still bad, but today kids are way worse and it is the fault of so much, meaning the way time has evolved. it will only get worse i think and hope not though. now a days kids will pull a gun and in the olden days nobody ever thought of that. pretty sad for society.
pastafarian
Pâtes avec votre foie
I don't think kids (or people in general) are very different today than they were 10, 100, 1000, or 10000 years ago. Conditions may change a little, but people remain people. More incidents happen because there are more of us here and because of our advancements (?) in communication, we hear about it louder and faster. There's a perception of change, but it's just perception not fact. At least that's my opinion.
Jordan
Member
I am in agreement with that only to say that the "faster" communication is proving out to be dangerous I think not sure but people's emotions that could pass over a bad incident now get broadcast and the emotion propagates around. so the things that in the past before the social networking and devices era could be take or leave but now it is on a screen in something we carry or look at many many times a day. expposing us to each other's emotionsl on a mass scare whereas before it was just the few people we saw every day.
Bob Maxey
Android Expert
And have you noticed that quite often, it is the same story, vomited across the web? The same case is spun over and over again; endlessly discussed and analyzed. Then the "experts" get involved and the same thing happens, again. Their comments and ideas are repeated over and over again.
Perhaps it is not as bad as we think. You Google the story and you will see hundreds of thousands of hits, but it is the same story.
We were much happier kids when we did not watch the news or read the newspaper.
Now we are sad because we learn we are not hip; our clothing is last seasons, our parents cannot afford the shoes some rapper wears, so we are depressed. Our cells are lat years models and someone who would not walk across the street to spit on you, posts on Facebook that you are fat and you become depressed.
The problem is often bad parenting, too much emphasis on crap that does not matter and children who have been raised to avoid defending themselves. They need to learn that sometimes, the proper reply to a bully is a swift sock in the mouth.
Alsaces Daddy
Android Expert
They only publicize what the public will find interesting enough to watch or visit their site.
9to5cynic
Android Expert
This is actually quite perceptive. In the past when communicating via written letter, you'd write the letter and then send it in the mail. Now you just post a message in haste. This is useful when sharing news and family photos, but when responding in anger - it's quite a different story.
I was always told to let letters site before sending them, to make sure you have them right. Not done as often with today's communication. Though, you can have email set up to not send a message until you actually press a "send sync" button of some sort.... not something that I ever dabbled in myself....
pastafarian
Pâtes avec votre foie
When I was a kid, you went out and played. Now, kids have pre arranged play dates. Why? Because of media coverage, parents think there's some kind of explosion in the number of pedophiles and that they're waiting around every corner to snatch their kids. Truth? Statistically, there's just as many pedophiles as there's ever been and it's no more dangerous now for kids to "go out and play" than it ever was. Most parents would say the problem has gotten much worse since they were kids, but the fact is it hasn't. The only thing that's really changed is that media induced fear has clouded their perception of the issue. It seems to be human nature to think things are always getting worse, yet they seldom do.
Alsaces Daddy
Android Expert
I think what has changed more is the parents not sitting down with their kids and talking about the dangers. They suspect that arranged play dates and scheduling everything for kids now will solve all the problems nd are flabbergasted when something does go wrong. You can't control every aspect of your families lives but you CAN take precautions. Same thing when it comes to bullies. My daughter will be taught to talk things out. If that doesnt work then tell an adult. If they refuse to do anything then you stand up for yourself. I will handle the aftermath given the fact she took the appropriate steps.
If an adult does nothing to stop blatant cruelty then why should kids have to sit and take it? Rules. Laws. They are all meant to protect you AND the bullier but when they don't follow those rules then you have to protect yourself. This is how I was raised and had very few instances where they continued after I stood my ground.
If an adult does nothing to stop blatant cruelty then why should kids have to sit and take it? Rules. Laws. They are all meant to protect you AND the bullier but when they don't follow those rules then you have to protect yourself. This is how I was raised and had very few instances where they continued after I stood my ground.
I tend to agree with this... but do you have numbers or research articles to back this? i would like to really know.
cmybliss
Android Enthusiast
I agree whole heartedly with this! If more parents took the time to educate our children on the proper way of handling conflict, there might be less to worry about.
No statistics here, but my grandmother, who is now 85, told me about the flasher in her neighborhood, and her mother warning her to keep her little brother and herself away from him. Sadly, the weirdos have been around since the dawn of time.
pastafarian
Pâtes avec votre foie
I was looking for a report I saw a couple of years ago that included a story about a 10 year old that was allowed to travel around NYC alone, but I can't seem to find it...yet. this should do in its stead. Though most parents will claim its much more dangerous for children now than when they were kids, the opposite is probably true. The same goes for bullying. It's not on the rise, only the media induced fear of it is. That doesn't mean that we shouldn't pay attention, but I think we should filter out the sensationalism before making decisions.
Crimes Against Children Research Center
Bob Maxey
Android Expert
Not sure I agree.
We read about kids being hurt for their shoes. Teachers worry about being hur5 or killed. Or perhaps fired for doing the right thing. Some inner city schools are like war zones. Parents have less power today and many teachers are not qualified to teach. Truancy is worse and many kids do not respect their teachers.
Back in my school days, these thing did not happen. Even MJ was very hard to buy unless you knew someone. Never saw a gun in school and we did not have ultra-violent gangs. Just getting to class can be a problem, Parents seem to be less involved and if you were pregnant, you were shunned or your parents sent you away.
Alsaces Daddy
Android Expert
Do you think the lack of parenting/discipline is due from fear of the new laws? CPS being called for whipping your kid? When I was young I had three forms of discipline. Time out in the corner. Grounded. A whipping. I turned out pretty good I think. Yeah I had my wild streak in my teens and early 20's but calmed down and acted right after that.
I think discipline should be a major factor in bullying. They may not fear retaliation from that other kid but if his father fonds out that's a completely different story. IMO.
I think discipline should be a major factor in bullying. They may not fear retaliation from that other kid but if his father fonds out that's a completely different story. IMO.
Bren S.
Android Expert
Agreed too many parents afraid to discipline and being brainwashed into being their child's "friend". Parents are to parent not be friends.
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Xparent Cyan Tapatalk 2
Mexjoker
I'm Not Real, Doris!
My mom is my friend.
I think it all depends on how you were raised and who you hanged around with.
My 2
BabyBlues
Trouble Just Finds Me!
My mom is my friend.
I think it all depends on how you were raised and who you hanged around with.
My 2
Techgeek81
Newbie
When I was growing up, I was always a bit overweight (still am but it matters less at 30), had glasses and was kind of awkward. My freshman year of high school, I figured the easy way around it would be to pick a sport that didn't require much running and join up. I tried to get into wrestling but my mom got sick that year and I wasn't able to.
Anyway, the guy who eventually got to be QB of the football team senior year decided I was his "hobby." It wasn't bad for most of the first couple of years because we only had one or two of the same classes and never really saw each other outside of them.
Junior year, we had almost identical schedules and it was a year of hell until sometime either just before or after spring break. He wasn't a big guy by any stretch. I was taller by an inch or two and had a good hundred pounds on him (our team was pretty bad).
One day, he was on top of his game and laying into me pretty hard. I had spilled something on my shirt at lunch (private school, uniform shirts were white, stains were noticeable). He saw it, grabbed my shirt and said "what did you spill?" in a mocking tone.
I lost it. My left hand went flat against his chest and my right forearm went longways across his throat. His back was up against a locker fast enough to knock the wind out of him. I said something to the effect of "don't (insert colorful word here) touch me."
Later that afternoon, he apologized. I don't remember ever speaking to him after that day.
That was in 1998.
Anyway, the guy who eventually got to be QB of the football team senior year decided I was his "hobby." It wasn't bad for most of the first couple of years because we only had one or two of the same classes and never really saw each other outside of them.
Junior year, we had almost identical schedules and it was a year of hell until sometime either just before or after spring break. He wasn't a big guy by any stretch. I was taller by an inch or two and had a good hundred pounds on him (our team was pretty bad).
One day, he was on top of his game and laying into me pretty hard. I had spilled something on my shirt at lunch (private school, uniform shirts were white, stains were noticeable). He saw it, grabbed my shirt and said "what did you spill?" in a mocking tone.
I lost it. My left hand went flat against his chest and my right forearm went longways across his throat. His back was up against a locker fast enough to knock the wind out of him. I said something to the effect of "don't (insert colorful word here) touch me."
Later that afternoon, he apologized. I don't remember ever speaking to him after that day.
That was in 1998.
Mexjoker
I'm Not Real, Doris!
She did and a good job at it too. Friends also play a role into what you do. >_>
Alsaces Daddy
Android Expert
My mom is my friend.
I think it all depends on how you were raised and who you hanged around with.
My 2
Mexjoker
I'm Not Real, Doris!
My opinion is parents can be friends but when its time they should be a parent and care less about your feelings and more about your health/outcome.
+1
"You'll thank me later in life!(or some other variation)" - Mom
Never been bullied and never saw/heard of someone being bullied that I am friends with. If I did I would step in and help.
Speed Daemon
Android Expert
Wow! That's one of those things that I've fantasized about doing after the opportunity has long passed. My sport was swimming, and they don't teach stuff like that to swimmers.
Kudos for standing up to the bully. Since I never learned how to fight (I still have zero moves), I've had to rely on situational awareness and projecting confidence to psych out a potential attacker. I don't think I could go hands-on unless I thought I would die otherwise.
The world needs more people who will take that extra step to defuse a bully. Bravo!