buy three things to freak out the walmart cashier

[pavirotten]

Baby food, a leash, and a book on how to potty train your child.

 

[TheNorthernForest]

Map of the store
Binoculars
And a picture of her

 

[Notahotshot]

Prepaid cell phone
Transformers voice changer
Machette

 

[papichulo69r]

Shot gun shells
marbles
duct tape

 

[Frisco]

Map of the store
Binoculars
And a picture of her

Isn't that how Pee Wee Herman proposed to the girl in the bicycle shop?

No, wait, that was Steve Jobs.

 

[The_Verse]

Jack-in-the-box
Waterproof vibrator
A Lemon

 

[eyebeam]

Cold chisel

Sack of quicklime (not quite sure I can get this at Walmart, but they must have something with it as an ingredient)

Cement patch kit

 

[The_Verse]

A cream to sooth feminine itching.
A web cam.
An english cucumber.

 

[papichulo69r]

Pliers
Lube
Gerbil

 

[The_Verse]

Sandwich bags
Laxatives
Post-It notes

 

[OfTheDamned]

10 lb can of beans
Toilet seat
Copy of War & Peace

 

[jr313]

vasoline, kielbasa, condom

 

[pavirotten]

Ice, pliers, and an electrical cord

 

[jmims]

Car battery
Jumper cables
Kama Sutra

 

[papichulo69r]

Greeting card
Plunger
2 pack brown socks

 

[mudrock1000]

Beans
A condom...
and a flare gun.

 

[jmims]

Duct tape
50' rope
Book on parenting

 

[pavirotten]

Beans
Ex-lax
Lighter

 

[eyebeam]

Small exercise trampoline
6 foot "The Little Mermaid" wading pool
Swim mask with snorkel

 

[Thefoodman52]

KY Jelly.

Grade 60 sandpaper.

Wire-ties.

Then you'd get a face like this:

 

[Frisco]

Baby food

Box of straws

Leash with spiked collar

 

[Bakersfield89]

A Box of Condoms
Any children's book
Roll of Silver duct tape

 

[Frisco]

Can of Pennzoil

Toilet seat

35mm camera

 

[jmims]

Dog whistle
Jar of peanut butter
Box of kleenex

 

[papichulo69r]

Vicente Fernandez CD
Tissues
24 pack Corona