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Chuck Norris

When the boogie man goes to bed at night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris!

Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies as the Force!

Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you in the back of your face!
 
I too fear the new vampire Chuck Norris, He already couldn't die because death is scared of him, but now he will hunger for more blood.... ._.

Chuck Norris is the only vampire to be able to walk in the Sun with out anything extra keeping him from bursting into flames... (in case there is such a witch/ warlock that could make those rings)

And NO Blade doesn't count sorry...
 
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Whats up roxors!! Some new finds for yall!!


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Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world’s hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.


Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.


Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot. [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

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Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

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One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.


Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Chuck Norris once threated to sue Burger King because they refused to make it his way. When asked what “his way” detailed, he replied: “with barbed wire and nails, of course”. He then roundhouse kicked the reporter for even asking.

When Chuck Norris’s wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, “Don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.”

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.

Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.


Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

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When Chuck Norris was in the Air Force he was the only man allowed to have his beard without a shaving waver, his supervisors were scared of what they would find under it.
 
Chuck Norris is going to Roxers house right now for not following his word that he wont give anymore thanks to mayer. recommend you run!
 
Chuck Norris is going to Roxers house right now for not following his word that he wont give anymore thanks to mayer. recommend you run!

Little do you know Chuck Norris lives with me, he made me start this thread for taking his Mountain Dew
 
chuck Norris can kick his farts back into his ass.

chuck Norris can kick you in back of the face.

If you see a girl with crooked teeth , she gave chuck norris ****

if chuck norris was a girl he wouldnt get a period he would get exclamation marks
 
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