This is tricky and I actually think it might be impossible... What version of Outlook do you use?
The phone doesn't work like an E-mail program, like say Outlook, does.
When you receive an E-mail, Outlook reaches the server and saves a copy of the E-mail onto Outlook
The Note communicates with your E-mail server and retrieves a copy of your E-mails FROM the server itself...
Try accessing your Outlook, and Going into "Accounts Settings", click on your E-mail address and click on "More Settings" click on the "Advanced" tab and there, under Delivery, put a check mark on "Leave a copy of messages on the server" and on "Remove from server when deleted from Deleted Items"
Then, if my theory is correct, your phone's "deletion" of a message will be to simply move it to the Deleted Items
