Here, let me turn down the TV, I just need to hit record first. OK - all set.
No, I'm not busy. I'm never too busy for you.
Ok, ok, there there, it's ok.
Yes, really.
I know you tried hard, I know you always do.
But only if you promise that this time, you're really going to keep your promises.
Because promises and trust are all we have.
And I trust you.
Plus I understand how this last time, stuff happened and it totally wasn't your fault.
How about a little snack? Can I get you something?
Kinda gives a whole new, old-school meaning to who's your daddy, now doesn't it?
Some useful lessons for future fathers like me to be learned in this thread.
You mean, apart from "don't have kids"? JK
You mean, apart from "don't have kids"? JK
How lighthearted you want?
I've never even heard of Supernatural - channel please?
I need some chuckles tonight. Life is a little tough at the moment, well for the last several months.
I know his post is sarcasm. If you have read my posts before, you probably know me a little bit. But let me tell you, and all of AF, when my son was born, that was when I became a man. That is why he will always be featured in my avatar. OK, lets get back to light hearted conversation again.
I in no way mean any disrespect to anyone dealing with a.d.d.
But this made me laugh
I need some chuckles tonight. Life is a little tough at the moment, well for the last several months.
Yes, same here. Joking aside, the day our daughter was born was a lightning bolt. She was not supposed to survive 24 hours (lungs were not processing O2). Went on a miracle machine called ECMO for weeks - equivalent of a set of external lungs and heart - which our hospital just happened to have (only one of two places in SoCal). Didn't know if it would work or what the result would be, given the risks of clots and O2 deprivation. I'll spare the very gory details, sleepless nights, emotional roller coaster of a month in the NICU. Needless to say, she now goes toe to toe with the best of us 16 years later. Even if she likes fruitphones.
So yeah, that day is a watershed, and thanks and respect to you and anyone else who realizes that very fact and doesn't take it for granted.
Now back to our regularly scheduled frivolity.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
OK, this one remind me of an old joke that I hope passes muster here. My lawyer cousin told me this one so I feel safe repeating it.
Why are lawyers like sperm?
One in a million turn out to be human.
I need some chuckles tonight. Life is a little tough at the moment, well for the last several months.
My son tries to poop and pee every time we remove his diaper with a 10 percent success rate of one or both!
I want to see a post about Tourettes.
You guys and gals are the best, thanks.
Hope you're feeling better. Of course, we've got more unused comic material if you're still feeling down.
You asked for it...
If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous comic and erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates." His mind sees things differently than most of us do; here are some of his gems:
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever, so far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
And the all time favorite:
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
Something I'm finding is the case more and more often. Love Netflix. They put Frasier and Star Trek TNG, two of my favorite shows, on instant watch a few months back and I've been watching it almost nonstop since!CW, but all the seasons can be streamed on Netflix
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