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Goin through midlife crisis

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Sento

Sento

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I had a prettty cool life. Born to rich educcated parents. I'm good looking. But now I'm 22 and I can't do college so I will never get a job bettter than home depot. Which means I will never get a good girlfriend or anything good in life.
I believe happiness comes from within so I'm not sayin I'm sad.
But tbh I don't want to live my life like this..ffeels like I'm gonna ggo to waste...I volunteer every week but that doesn't make me happy..
So I reallly am considering killing myself. I am not suicidal or in crisis so don't worry...
The only thing I wanted in life was a good gf, but no good girl marries a homedepot guy with no degree....so that's it for me. I can either fake happiness my whole life. Or just end it and live in peace.
What should I do?
 
There are plenty of women who are superficial and only believe that having money and nice things will bring eternal happiness, but there are also the other kind of woman. The kind that sticks by you when the going gets tough. The kind that supports you regardless of whatever situation you are in. I believe that's the kind of woman every woman should be. Unfortunately, it isn't like that.

You are still very young. Opportunities for everything will come your way if you look in the right places. While I believe in the institution of marriage, I don't believe in forcing yourself to find something that is not present. The way I see it, your good looks alone will buy you an opening to a conversation, but your personality will take it the rest of the way.

I grew up very similarly to you (with affluent parents), however they spent a majority of my life fighting and eventually divorcing. Somehow, that has never really affected me negatively. I was a very shy kid, but as I aged, I stopped caring so much about what everyone else thought. If I felt it, I did it. Dealt with the consequences afterward. I've never been in any major trouble, so it worked for me.

All I can say is that you shouldn't go the route that you have mentioned here. There's much much more to life than chasing tail. You have to figure out who you are before you can even think of offering your life to another person.

I hope this helps.
 
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I been working out and dieting but I don't see the point anymore. I can't do college so ill never get a good job and will have to work at home depot for rest of my life and I will never get a girlfriend anyway so it doesn't. Matter to me....what's the point? It doesn't matter how I look...and I want to die so don't care bout my health...
What's the point?
 
Sento said:
I been working out and dieting but I don't see the point anymore. I can't do college so ill never get a good job and will have to work at home depot for rest of my life and I will never get a girlfriend anyway so it doesn't. Matter to me....what's the point? It doesn't matter how I look...and I want to die so don't care bout my health...
What's the point?
Click to expand...

I am in some sort of a similar situation. I grew up with great parents who did very well in the Middle East. Growing up there, a lot of my friends were people with inherited money and the culture of having a job in highschool or through university was almost looked down upon. Needless to say, it rubbed off on me. I eventually completed university in Canada, have three internships on my resume, moved to the States and now it's been close to a year and I just can't get a job. No matter where I apply, it just doesn't seem to be working out for me.

What I'm getting at is that I'm in a similar sort of frustration phase where I've lost most hope. I have thought about suicide, but I would never do it. I love my parents a lot and they don't deserve that kind of pain.

I'm trying to keep my hope up.

As for you, you are not in the worst situation possible. I know a lot of people who have decent jobs and lives without any college. Look into working towards a basic IT certification. Could help you get in somewhere. It's hard, but you have to keep trying.
 
My parents were far from rich. But we were happy. Just because you can't "do"college doesn't mean you can't have a life. not sure why you make home depot seem like a dead end job but it is possible to make something of yourself. I didn't go to college but i have a good job, met the best woman in the world(maybe i'm bias lol) who gave me 3daughters, have a home, cars, ANDROIDS...what else is there? But hanging around forums talking about suicide is never going to get you anywhere. Sorry to be so blunt but you gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself, suck it up and do something to better your situation
 
You'll get through it, dude. Don't even worry about it. Just because you work at Home Depot doesn't mean you'll never get a girl -- just don't let working at Home Depot define your life. Hell, I used to mow lawns for a living and I still had a girlfriend.

Just wondering, and no biggie if you don't want to talk about it, but why don't you think you can go to college?
 
You can always do community college! I know a few people who are going to community college who also work at entry level jobs like McDonald's. Keep in mind, they're closing in on 30.

I've met quite a few people here at New York University who first started out in community college because they did "badly" in high school. They picked themselves up, did as hard as they could in community college, and are now attending a university that they never even dreamed they could get into. I have several friends who are trying to get their first bachelor's degree and they're in their 30s. The oldest person in my classes is nearing 56 years old... 56. She never went to college until now.

You're ONLY 22 years old... ONLY. There are millions upon millions of people out there that are 30+ and don't have a college degree. My father doesn't have a college degree... in fact, he never even went to middle or high school (because South Korea was in a very bad shape when he was at that age). He came to the U.S. for a better future with elementary school education, no knowledge of English whatsoever, and as a poor immigrant. I'm sure he felt crappy with his situation but he made a name for himself and found the drive and inspiration to better himself. He had basically NOTHING when he came to the U.S. around 26 years old... NOTHING. You're doing a LOT better than he was doing at your age!

What I recommend that you do:

1. Attend a community college or tech college. They're easy to get into and you're not going to be denied from being able to get any higher education.

2. Make a plan for yourself. Have a daily journal and write down what you want to accomplish that day. You need to physically see what you want to do on paper instead of it swimming around in your head. This way, it'll help you be more organized as well as having a clear list of what you would like to accomplish.

3. Keep to the plan. If you scheduled to visit the local community college to talk with an advisor but couldn't make it. Simply reschedule it! Never EVER believe that it's a closed door.

4. Please don't be so concerned with finding a girlfriend right now. The girls will come, especially since you say that you're good looking. You may even meet the ideal person for you in one of your classes. What you should be concerned with is yourself and bettering your situation.

5. Read books that you would enjoy reading. There are days where I just feel so crappy and depressed. Books are a great medium to let your brain forget about the current situation you're in and just helping you to "escape" into another world.

Note: I know that people will say that you're just "running from your problems" that way but it actually does really work at helping to relieve depression by reading a good book.
 
6. This is something that my cousin told me when I was severely depressed and suicidal back in high school. I called her asking for help, understanding, and just some comfort and she replied essentially with this (obviously it's not word for word):

If you're incredibly sensitive and don't respond at all to tough love, then I recommend not reading it.

Stop pitying yourself. It's not going to get you anywhere and you're not going to fix any of your problems by wallowing in this self pity. Tell me, what are you going to accomplish by degrading yourself over and over again and repeating to yourself that you're not going to amount to anything? I went through the same things that you went through, back in high school, and know how much life sucked. It really sucked so much that I cried often and was suicidal also. Now look where I am, I graduated with honors from Wharton, have a great job, and am happier than I've ever been. If I had killed myself, I would've never known what it was like to be so happy. I would've died depressed, angry, and another thing... hurting the people that I love.

If you do decide to kill yourself, make sure to let your parents, brother, me, and the rest of your family and friends know beforehand so we can prepare for it because you better believe that we're going to be in a world of anguish in the result of your suicide. It'll be best for us to be prepared. I'm not saying this to make you feel worse about yourself. I'm saying this because I love you and want the best for you. You have so many people that love and care about you, whether you like to admit it or not.

I know you didn't want to hear all of this, as I'm sure you would've rather have me feel so sorry for you and comfort you telling you that you are living such a sad life, but I'm giving you a wake up call that you have such a bright, long future that is waiting. You have absolutely no idea what the next years are going to bring for you, so stop with all of the self pity that you're going to have a terrible life because unless you have the powers of premonition, STOP IT. If you can already see clearly what your life will be like for the next few years (or decades), please let me know how mine will be as well because I can only dream of what I hope my life will become but you seem to have a special ability.

My cousin is a very strong woman who loves her family to death. She is brutally honest and not afraid to speak what's actually on her mind. Throughout my life, she was always honest with me and told me how things were or what her opinions were without any fluff or sugar coating.

Her tough love was what really struck me the most with my year-long severe depression and I hope it really strikes something in you too.

I, honestly, care about your well-being and want to help you get out of this rutt that you're in. The very first thing that you must do ABOVE ALL OTHERS is to open yourself up to receiving help. If you just want to vent and get your emotions out, that's fine. If you're wanting help with your problems, then you have to change yourself before we can ever help you.
 
I just turned 30,have never been to college and tbh, don't ever see myself going to college. I am however fully self supportive, have a boyfriend who adores me and admires that I'm a single working mom. It was rough for me for almost a year after I got out of the military trying to find a decent job.

A good gf isn't going to care that you work at home Depot. She going to care that you can take care of yourself and she doesn't have to baby you. But like others have said, you're young.... You've got time. Worrying about it is only going to make it worse. Keep your head up.
 
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