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notifications during call

During a call.. if I get a new email or text, it is so loud it makes my ears bleed. How can this be adjusted? Also, when listening to my headphones, it seems like sometimes it plays a notification through the headset and othertimes via the normal speaker. Not good when on the quiet ride train.
 
Thanks! This is the 3rd question I've asked and the first that was even aknowledged.. unfortunately, that setting would turn down all of my notifications. So when it is in my pocket I wouldn't hear it.
 
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