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Help Straight Talk No Service After Activation HELP

Thunder12

Lurker
Please help a very determined and frustrated newb.

Straight Talk has my nomination for the worst customer service ever.
I've transferred my number from a former straight talk number/phone to the Precedent. It was used, and may have been used on another network, perhaps Boost.
Porting is completed, everything looks okay on their end. I have a phone that is in paperweight mode: no calls, texts, internet.
They just want me to continuously take the battery out, power off/on, and try to update profile/prl. None of these work. When updating profile/prl, I get a connection error, but not a 67 code.
I'm tired of waiting for it to magically work on their end and paying for a useless phone.
I've factory reset, with no avail.
How can I update the prl or find the msl with no internet on the phone or ability to download from the Marketplace?
 
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