Happy Happy Days. I got it to work out. Thought I'd share my solution since it was the one thing that was screwing me over.
Formatting the card on the phone never worked because it would create it's own .android_secure on the SD card after the badboy was formatted. The .android_secure of course, is a hidden file, which can be unhidden by doing a Terminal command.
Here lies the problem, as a hidden file, my Mac wouldn't allow me to replace it. So, checking the disk format (FAT32), I used Disk Utility to do my own wipe, thus riding me of .android_secure. That way, I could add my own .android_secure to it.
My mistake was running a format using Optimus prior to copying stuff over, but I think .android_secure was created the moment the card was mounted, thus requiring me to format it while it was in the phone through Disk Utility.
Or maybe I'm just super special and this happend to only me.

Life's a mystery. Thank you guys for your help!