I've got Tunes Remote working, but it doesn't stay paired when you shut down either the app or iTunes. It's a serious pain having to pair EVERY TIME you start iTunes. I can't seem to find a fix for this anywhere. I just want iTunes to remember my phone (and visa-versa).
Gmote is not as robust with iTunes (no album art, playlists, etc.) I use Gmote to control Hulu, Netflix, etc., but I've got my music streaming to my vintage stereo in the living room and Tunes Remote is perfect for that (except for having to re-pair every time you start it).