ROM's come with kernel included when you flash a ROM. What kernel that is is up to the developer. Some come with stock, some with custom kernels.
Once you flash your ROM I'd play with it for a while see what you think. Dev's often include a kernel that is most compatible/reliable/smooth etc.. that they deem for their ROM. This doesn't mean you can't change the kernel though and doesn't mean that a ROM included kernel is the "best" to run with that ROM.
You do need to stick to versions though...aka 4.0.2 ROM requires a 4.0.2 compatible kernel and so on.
Some kernels are made with tweaks like under volting the CPU for better battery life, some have overclocking for extreme performance, some have modules like a volume boost, and the list goes on.