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Yippeeiokiyay

Rgarner

Android Expert
I guess that's the right spelling. Anyway, I at long last am the proud possessor of a brand spankin' new (I hope) computer, a Lenovo from Walmart. Compared to the crimebook, I guess it's pretty tricked out, specs and all. I have fortunately been able to connect the cheapish plastic wireless mouse (also walmart) and get it to work. All it needed was a new AAA, the other being ok. It's still not that great but better than trying to deal with that sucky trackpad. Now I have it on wifi but there is a little problem. Namely, this is definitely a windows computer, for now. As soon as I can download Linux, that should cease to be a concern. Meanwhile, I am being asked to sign in or create an account. I DO NOT HAVE and DO NOT WANT a Microsoft account. How do I get around this or, barring, that, maybe set up the thing only to delete it asap?
 
Is a local account still Microsoft? I would like to leave them behind entirely. I don't trust them much more than googoo, and they are known to make buggy software which evidently requires constant patching (or just don't use it). In fact, there was a great post on here years ago about the house that microsoft built vs. two others built by other concerns. It's hilarious and I wish I could find it. Meanwhile, I'm not quite sure how to proceed. I got it on wifi, which I hope wasn't a mistake, and am stuck at the signin page. I want to download Linux, minimal and + fastboot, and Calibre.
 
Ok, I got it set up with some fake crap. Then I went to Ubuntu and downloaded the latest. However, windows is bothering me about its not being from their official store (duh). I looked for it under apps, which I guess means programs, and of course it wasn't listed. How do I get the computer to let me install it? Also, can I get rid of that Alexa garbage? I sure don't want that.
 
It probably has a CPU with TPM (Trusted Platform Module) that will raise hell every time it encounters firmware or an OS it doesn't like. And anything other than Windows 10 or 11, it doesn't like. I believe you can go into UEFI (the replacement for BIOS) and disable TPM validation. I know I'll need to do that - very soon - when I divorce Microsoft.
 
When I had windows, I would download the ISO image. I would then burn the ISO to a DVD to make a boot able DVD, not the ISO itself.. Then I would restart my computer making sure the DVD is the first boot able device and run Linux off the DVD. Then it always asked if I wanted o install it, and i would
 
I looked for it under apps, which I guess means programs, and of course it wasn't listed.
Ubuntu isn't a program you install in Windows, it will replace Windows. You downloaded a file that can be used to install Ubuntu, it's probably in your downloads folder.

They have a step by step USB installation guide here:

Here is how to burn the ISO to DVD if you're using a DVD:

Then I went to Ubuntu and downloaded the latest.
There are two "latest" versions of Ubuntu - 22.04.3 LTS and 23.04. The 22.04.3 LTS version would be the better one to install, it's also called Jammy Jellyfish. Direct link if you want that one:
 
Thanks for all the advice, but what is UEFI and how do I find it? I remember the good old days of dvd and cd-rom drives, floppy disks (well maybe not that good), etc. Alas, this computer has none of these. It's pretty much a plain vanilla laptop that seems decent enough. According to Canonical, it IS now possible to download Ubuntu within windows. This is what I am trying to do, for now. Once I get that stable I want to have minimal adb + fastboot, and Calibre.
 
I plugged in the Toshiba 2 TB hard drive and it was recognized. Apparently it requires some software, which I downloaded ok. When I tried to open it, though, I got the same problem as with Ubuntu. How do I disable this worthless toilet paper module and keep it from interfering ever again? I hadn't realized how bad Microsoft had gotten, even worse than the last time I had to deal with it. At least I was able to delete that Alexa garbage.
 
I still haven't been able get into BIOS or UEFI or whatever it's called. I couldn't even shut it down until I used the three finger salute, control alt delete. Then I used restart, but now I'm stuck getting some crappy updates I don't want. How do I stop this and shut down TPM forever?
 
Well, I've done it now. I finally found put where that crap was hidden. It had been such a long time since I'd used command line interpreter I forgot how primitive it looks. Even then I didn't see it right away, but I eventually noticed that security boot garbage and disabled it. There was an option to save changes and exit, which I of course took. When it rebooted, some crap called bit locker was asking for a recovery key. Naturally I don't have that. I ended up getting stuck even deeper in microlimp's labyrinth because I had to come up with another email address (outlook) for them to look over the information I provided and get back to me in maybe 24 hours. PLEASE let this @$$_ be temporary. Why doesn't somebody just sell a freakin' Linux pc with no dam windows at all? That would probably have millions of customers.
 
I saw a whole bunch of suggestions as to how to get in there. I have no idea which, if any, were true. I tried delete with no luck. There was F2, possibly with fn, for Lenovo. That was unsuccessful also. I finally got to cli and switched off that security junk. Maybe I shouldn't have, but it's MY computer, which I had to wait more than 2 years to get. I don't want some faceless creeps trying to force me to do things THEIR way. Whatever happened to America?
 
What is bit locker and how do I destroy it? How do I get back into the computer? Dealing with this laptop makes Android seem easy.
 
Try the DEL key to access the BIOS.

Bitlocker is a security feature.

As far as it goes, you might have to do a clean install of Windows to have access again.
 
When I tried to recover the crap, microsoft said I had not registered any device. I don't know how that could be with all the garbage they put me through just to use the thing. Do I have to register the computer...with THEM? I 'm trying to escape microsoft. I hate them. If I do that anyway, can I finally get back into it?
 
I'm working very hard to download all our OneDrive files to our NAS, replace all the Office365 apps with open source alternatives, and get Microsoft off my desktop & laptop forever. It's just taking more time than I need it to, considering MS' tyrannical terms & conditions take effect in a month.

I suppose I won't get a prorated refund of our subscription, even though they changed the rules in the middle of our year...
 
Years ago when I had Windows, I tried to do a backup and it stopped me and read me the riot act for trying to save unlicensed material. After spending hours trying to figure out what was going on, it was a 30 day game trial that I didn't delete.
 
I'm sorry for all our troubles. Delete did not work. Neither did F2, with or without fn, as suggested for Lenovo, which it is. Now that I'm locked out of this thing, I have to get in with this stupid bit locker key. How do I get the key, and how do I type it in when there seems to be no way to do that? I guess the laptop isn't registered with them. Do I really have to do that? No, I don't want a "clean"(?!) installation of windows. I don't want windows at all. I want to boot Microsoft's @$$ out the door and install Linux. WHY is it THAT DIFFICULT?
 
Yes, I mean windows. After a lot of time wasted proving that I'm not a robot for assorted outlook accounts that I had to set up, it said that there was no device registered. I would prefer not to do that, but if I had to, could I do that, get back in somehow disable butt locker, and then shove that all off a cliff while I ride happily into the sunset with Linux? Is it just an impossible dream?
 
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