Well, my power button seemed to not have worked, or maybe the processor went bad (couldn't even get past charging screen, download mode wasn't possible). Since I got this from a brick and mortar store, VM told me to contact the store instead. Store told me to contact Motorola. I would have removed all traces of my screwing with the phone if I could, but given the state the phone was in, it seemed impossible.
Well, I'll see what comes of this. If they send it back because of voided warranty, I'll ask around here for help. If that doesn't work, I'll argue with VM.... And if that doesn't work, I'll give up and move on to T-Mobile, but I doubt it will ever come to that. Thanks for all the advice! I do prefer not breaking the phone on purpose to get it replaced though. As much as I dislike Motorola, doing something like that makes me feel cheap and devoid of morals- put yourself in Motorola shoes. Would you want customers to break phones just because they think you can afford to give away new ones?
On-topic, though: if you are able to flash a ROM, try logcatting what happens when you open up the camera app. Maybe the logcat output cold be useful?