Dick (1:34pm): Good afternoon sir, can I help you.
Mark (1:34pm): Yes, I have a problem. I purchased a Sprint Hero with the understanding that it will be upgraded to Android 2.1. This is important because 1.5 is a truly awful version that doesn't allow me to do anything. I can't make calls, I can't run apps and it takes several hours to boot up. I didn't know any of this before I bought it (that would have required me to research my purchase, which clearly isn't reasonable). I understand that the upgrade to 2.1 will automate all my calls (I no longer need to speak to anyone, which - for a geek like me - is perfect), it will run all apps (from Android, IPhone or the huge Windows Phone Marketplaces). I also believe it will start in 0.0000023 seconds and deliver a health care reform package which everyone will enjoy and celebrate together in peaceful harmony. So, I am quite interested in when it will be available.
Dick (1:35pm): Hold on sir, I will check.
Dick (1:38pm): I am pleased to tell you I have an answer, sir. The update will be available.
Mark (1:40pm): Yes?
Dick (1:41pm): Yes, that's right sir - it will be available. Isn't that exciting?
Mark (1:41pm): When?
Dick (1:42pm): It will be exciting when its available.
Mark (1:43): Can you give me a specific date?
Dick (1:45pm): No, I am afraid not. But I can assure you sure that Sprint has stopped development of all other phones and will be delaying the release of the 4G phones for 6 months while it works on the Hero 2.1 upgrade. We understand the pure agony of using 1.5 and we're surprised you stuck with us this long. With version 1.5 on it the Hero is obviously akin to a wet potato and makes calls just as well. Obviously when you signed up we told you what a sucky phone it was and made promises that the upgrade would be available just a day or so after you bought it (although we didn't consider the health care thing, so that's adding a day or two - Obama has been slow to help with the beta testing). So, sorry about that.
Mark (1:47pm): I am speechless. I am now making a threat to you!!! I will personally promise to call every single Sprint representative until it is released. I have all their personal phone numbers. I'll keep doing this until the release is available, even if it takes me well into April. And if it ships in April then clearly it will have been my pressure that did the trick. And I am serious - calling endless numbers of Sprint folks is clearly a winners game. And I have the time - it's not like I have a life or anything. This is clearly the most important thing to me (if that health care thing doesn't work out, don't delay shipping the update - that's a nit compared to getting the update to me).
Dick (1:49pm): OK, sir. Thank you. Rest assured the company is quaking in its boots and we'll do everything we can to get this to you very soon.
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