As far as the LED thing, is it really that much of a chore to pickup the phone, press the lock button and see if you missed something. I too started with the old phones (first was a Moto MictroTac) and I remember their recurring reminders and that there was no way to get rid of them other than dealing with them. When you're in a meeting and have a call keep coming back it's annoying as hell. I am ok with pressing a button to check if I missed something, but that's me.
As far as battery life, this thing is easily twice as good as the original Incredible, hell even most other smartphones. I usually squeeze out around 2-3 days (if I'm not playing games) out of it, so I'd give the usual advice. Look into the settings and see what's using up your battery. If it's the screen, lower the brightness or shorten the screen timeout. If it's thing's like push email or facebook, change the sync interval to a longer time or sync manually. It may even be an app that's not allowing the phone to sleep. There are tons of threads on any phone about battery life, if none of them help you you're probably looking at a bad phone or battery.
You mention you had the Blackberry Storm as apparently being better suited to your needs. If I recall there were tons of angry users with that series of phone. I almost got one myself until I started researching it and finally using one in the store. But if you really liked it there is supposed to be a followup to it coming to Verizon soon.
The Incredible 2 may not be for everyone, but the Incredible series has an extremely loyal following. Hell, I haven't been able to bring myself to sell my Incredible 1 yet. They always seem to be the cult classic in Verizon's lineup, with the publicity going to the Moto Droids & the Samsung Galaxy S variants. But at the end of the day, if you just can't live with the so called problems it has, find something that will work better for you.