Parent / Family Oriented

[Unforgiven]

I have answered several questions about kids getting in trouble with malware or parents wanting to monitor / control their children's Android use. I have seen many good posts about this sprinkled around and thought, hey, maybe a thread here would be helpful. A place to discuss family issues regarding mobile phone use from all perspectives. Also maybe a place where we parents can give kudos to our children / grandchildren for accomplishments.

Maybe I'm trying to accomplish two things in one thread, but I am a concerned parent (I have a two stepsons, 17 and 13, and a son that is 4, and they all use android devices ) and this could be a place where we all come together and come up with solutions or toot our kids horns.

I'll try to start:

1. Monitoring apps - I am not familiar with them, but I would never try one without letting my kids know about it. Added link to parental controls link in Android Market:Parental Controls in Android Market Please check to see it these are legal in your area (these laws vary from state to state in the US, and I'm sure country to country overseas).
2. Communication - I will edit this post with my thoughts on this shortly (I want to quote myself and EarlyMon from an earlier thread (EarlyMon I hope this is OK, but it is the kind of thing I am talking about here.
   
   Edit:
   
   

   A: I am the parent of a 17 year old boy let me give you this advice. If you are telling the truth in your post, let your mom know what happened. If the it shows up on the bill or she finds out because it keeps happening, she will be more upset finding out after the fact. This stuff can happen and if again, if you are being honest in your post and she is still upset let her see my reply to your post. If she wants to IM me to confirm, I will give her my personal email in an IM and I can explain.
   
   B: Stick with this forum, there is a no porn, no pirating, no illegal stuff forum. If this thing is stuck on your phone (your post implies you haven't seen it since the factory reset) then let me know and I'll search around and let you know how to get rid of it.

   
   

   Welcome to the forums!
   
   I think your mom will be proud of your honesty.
   
   I would also have a chat with your mom about installing an app for your security like Lookout. It's very easy to download bad apps, like some of the live wallpapers that are really out to get you and can make you an unsuspecting target for this sort of thing. Lookout is a protection app, similar to an anti-virus for your PC.
   
   Also, you sound like the sort of great younger person who really cares about doing the right thing. There are some good parental monitoring apps available, and plenty of stories of younger folks and parents working together with those apps. That sort of thing can remove all doubt for mom, and make you part of the solution rather than a kid on a leash. With some help from a good monitoring app and mom, you'll gain the skills needed for safe phone use, and I know a lot of older folks who learned about unsafe phone use the hard way.
   
   If that sounds like a good idea, have your mom chat with us. If she would rather talk privately, have her click on my name and send me a private message, or chat with pupkact by doing that, either way.
   
   And good for you for looking for the right answer and being honest rather just hiding.
   
   Naturally, mom is going to be a bit unhappy when you tell her but that's really ok. Mom knows you best and she'll get that you're being honest.
   
   Always trust your parents. After all, we were kids ourselves, so we really do know what it's like.

   
   Unfortunately, we haven't heard back from him yet, but I hope you get the point. Here is a link to the original thread: http://androidforums.com/android-lounge/490938-wildfire-s-internet-popups.html
   
3. Karate belts - My four year old son (out of the blue) asked to join a karate class. He has done very well and in early December earned his Yellow Belt and he is well on his way to earning his Orange Belt. I am so proud of him for this and hopefully when he is older he can read about my admiration for him here.

I hope to not only contribute to this discussion, but learn from it as well. Thanks in advance for any feedback.

 

[Unforgiven]

OK, my boys are having fun in the living room. They are making a mess and probably doing things I should yell at them for. But they are laughing and giggling like children should, so I am letting it slide. 17, 13, and 4 having fun is awesome. I'll clean up later.

 

[El Presidente]

OK, my boys are having fun in the living room. They are making a mess and probably doing things I should yell at them for. But they are laughing and giggling like children should, so I am letting it slide. 17, 13, and 4 having fun is awesome. I'll clean up later.

I know what you mean, some stuff you've just got to let go.

My son is 3 and still has an afternoon nap on occasion. We both fell asleep on the couch the other day and he woke up before I did. When I did wake up, he'd let the hamster out (it took about half an hour to find him), pulled a load of paper out of the drawer underneath his little desk and covered it (and the desk) in crayon. There were also sheets of paper all over the floor.

He was delighted with himself because he's been clever enough to open the hamster cage all on his own and that he'd drawn a picture for daddy. His room was a tip and I'll never get that crayon off the desk but he was so chuffed with himself, I couldn't be annoyed with him.

 

[Unforgiven]

For me, nothing beats a nap with my little boy. I don't get enough opportunities for that, so I cherish it when I can. The hamster story is awesome. I know Evan is like that, wants to do stuff on his own, so I can absolutely see him doing something like that.

 

[AntimonyER]

I wish my kids took naps, but only the baby still does, and those average 30 minutes or so, only a few more months, and that will end as well I imagine.

My daughter is the trouble maker, yesterday she drew all over the wall, in pencil and marker, in our bedroom, woke the baby from his nap, cut her own hair, and emptied the dresser drawers onto the floor.

 

[Roze]

I wish my kids took naps, but only the baby still does, and those average 30 minutes or so, only a few more months, and that will end as well I imagine.

My daughter is the trouble maker, yesterday she drew all over the wall, in pencil and marker, in our bedroom, woke the baby from his nap, cut her own hair, and emptied the dresser drawers onto the floor.

Oh my goodness! She's a little monster, isn't she? How old is your daughter? Sounds like 3-5.

 

[AntimonyER]

Oh my goodness! She's a little monster, isn't she? How old is your daughter? Sounds like 3-5.

Haha, she is 3. I can also add she is not potty trained, but more than happy to remove a diaper when it needs to be changed, thinks its hilarious for the dogs to get it.(GROSS!) The doctor says she most likely has ADHD, but she is strongly opposed to medicating children (my number 1 reason why I love this dr.) She has so much spunk, and is super cute, chipmunk teeth and all. SHe is going to give me all my gray hair, I know it. But I will love every strand of it.

 

[Roze]

Haha, she is 3. I can also add she is not potty trained, but more than happy to remove a diaper when it needs to be changed, thinks its hilarious for the dogs to get it.(GROSS!) The doctor says she most likely has ADHD, but she is strongly opposed to medicating children (my number 1 reason why I love this dr.) She has so much spunk, and is super cute, chipmunk teeth and all. SHe is going to give me all my gray hair, I know it. But I will love every strand of it.

Potty Training is the toughest thing in the world :/ If the kid doesn't want to SHE AIN'T GONNA!!! You just have to live with her diaper filled poopie until she's ready to go

My 3 years old niece refused to poo in the toilet. She'd pee but won't poo. She'd run to a corner and hide and when she gets caught, she plead with her mom to let her poo in her diaper just this one time and she'll be a good girl and poo in the toilet next time. Then a couple of months ago, she just poo in the toilet, she told her mom, 'I'm a big girl now'.

I have a 4 years old nephew that won't poo in the toilet >_>;;; He goes to kindergarten and his parents 'trained' him to only poo at night. We told him that if he wants to go to Dominica, he needs to poo in the toilet as they don't have any diapers at the resort. He responded, 'it's OK Mommy, I won't eat then'.

 

[Unforgiven]

Potty Training is the toughest thing in the world :/ If the kid doesn't want to SHE AIN'T GONNA!!! You just have to live with her diaper filled poopie until she's ready to go

My 3 years old niece refused to poo in the toilet. She'd pee but won't poo. She'd run to a corner and hide and when she gets caught, she plead with her mom to let her poo in her diaper just this one time and she'll be a good girl and poo in the toilet next time. Then a couple of months ago, she just poo in the toilet, she told her mom, 'I'm a big girl now'.

I have a 4 years old nephew that won't poo in the toilet >_>;;; He goes to kindergarten and his parents 'trained' him to only poo at night. We told him that if he wants to go to Dominica, he needs to poo in the toilet as they don't have any diapers at the resort. He responded, 'it's OK Mommy, I won't eat then'.

I couldn't agree more. My four year old started peeing on the toilet around 2 1/2 but wouldn't go poops. One day it clicked and its been clean undies since. But what a frustrating time. We went to Mexico last February and told him he couldn't go in his pants, I think that was when it started. BTW, my Avatar is he and I from that trip

 

[Frisco]

'it's OK Mommy, I won't eat then'.

Aww..

Kids are so different about that.. most parents with more than one find that out right away.

First boy: no problem at all, at two he just went in there one day and used the little stool to get up on the "daddy potty" and went. Didn't clean himself before pulling up his drawers and coming to me to brag about it, but still.

Second boy: at three he was "ready" but couldn't actually do anything other than number one.. so we just let it go and he finally came around to going about six months later and out of diapers.

First girl: the first one we used a "kiddy potty" to get her going, and it worked fine at about two.

 

[El Presidente]

We started my wee one around 20 months I think (I thought it was a bit too young at the time, but his mum started and I didn't want to break the habbit when he was at mine).

Number 1's he got pretty much straight away, but when it came to Number 2's, he'd hide in the corner of the room. We developed a reward system so that every time he let us know he needed, he got a sticker on his pirate chart. After 5 stickers, he got a sweetie.

He was totally trained by just after his 2nd birthday.

 

[Unforgiven]

My stepson just got his acceptance letter to Mass Maritime Acadamy. I am typing this with tears in my eyes so please excuse any typos. This is like the Ivy league of nautical colleges and he has overcome Leukemia. I cannot overstate how proud I am of him.

 

[chrlswltrs]

I think martial arts is the best thing a kid can do. There are so many benefits other than just self defense. I earned my black belt in high school and without those years of training and learning self control and respect I would not be the man I am today.

 

[Roze]

My stepson just got his acceptance letter to Mass Maritime Acadamy. I am typing this with tears in my eyes so please excuse any typos. This is like the Ivy league of nautical colleges and he has overcome Leukemia. I cannot overstate how proud I am of him.

Congrats pupkact! That's great news Don't worry, you didn't make any typos.

 

[olbriar]

Perhaps I am a lucky parent. I raised four children and yes.. they all do vary somewhat and I raised them all the same. I never tried to sugar coat the world and always openly discussed the dangers that lurk around the adolescent corners. Any topic was game discussion material and perhaps they were starved a bit of innocence in the process.. I don't know. We talked drugs and alcohol use/abuse... we talked love and sex and protection.. you name it. It was discussed not preached and understood and not a mystery. They did not grow up to be perfect people but they grew into very acceptable individuals. I never felt the need to look over their shoulders for they we prepared, or at least understood, most situations before they arose. Cross the bridges with them long before they have to cross them alone. my $0.02

 

[AntimonyER]

Also... I think martial arts is the best thing a kid can do. There are so many benefits other than just self defense. I earned my black belt in high school and without those years of training and learning self control and respect I would not be the man I am today.

I have to agree, if my children decide they want to participate in martial arts, I will be extremely supportive. Especially since I wouldn't have to pay for training (my wife is a second degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and was national champion of her division in the 2001 Junior Olympics, and an experienced instructor)

 

[Unforgiven]

Also... I think martial arts is the best thing a kid can do. There are so many benefits other than just self defense. I earned my black belt in high school and without those years of training and learning self control and respect I would not be the man I am today.

I totally agree. I think 10% of his class is learning punches and such. The rest is about respect and discipline, anti bullying, and dealing with strangers.

 

[argedion]

With my oldest one we gave her a phone in 8th grade. I felt she was to young however her and mom hanged up on me till I finally caved. I had the talk with her about dangers of the internet and the sick people that lurk in our society. I gave her the information and had to let her run with it. I prayed, feared and prayed more. God blessed me by keeping her safe and giving her some intelligence. She moved out in December. I still worry about her as she is a young lady. My youngest wants a phone (11) I feel she is still way to young and she is a bit more naive than her sister. So far Mom has agreed with me. I'm worried that someone would take advantage of her naivity. As far as watching them I leave that to God as I cannot watch everything

 

[Unforgiven]

With my oldest one we gave her a phone in 8th grade. I felt she was to young however her and mom hanged up on me till I finally caved. I had the talk with her about dangers of the internet and the sick people that lurk in our society. I gave her the information and had to let her run with it. I prayed, feared and prayed more. God blessed me by keeping her safe and giving her some intelligence. She moved out in December. I still worry about her as she is a young lady. My youngest wants a phone (11) I feel she is still way to young and she is a bit more naive than her sister. So far Mom has agreed with me. I'm worried that someone would take advantage of her naivity. As far as watching them I leave that to God as I cannot watch everything

We have used the policy in our house that 8th grade is when they can get a phone. This is because 8th grade is in the high school here and they become a lot more active in after school activities related to the school. And payphones are a thing of the past, so if / when plans change, they can contact us.

And yes, I'm sure I lecture them but I still call it a conversation. Anytime I see an article about a kid getting in trouble for sexting or something like that I print it out. Often kids think we make up that they can get in trouble with these things. Showing them stories (the more local the better) of someone who sent a naked picture of him/her self to send to their BF/GF who then sends it to all their friends who then post it on facebook. And then having all those folks in trouble for possessing / distributing child porn.

 

[argedion]

We have used the policy in our house that 8th grade is when they can get a phone. This is because 8th grade is in the high school here and they become a lot more active in after school activities related to the school. And payphones are a thing of the past, so if / when plans change, they can contact us.

And yes, I'm sure I lecture them but I still call it a conversation. Anytime I see an article about a kid getting in trouble for sexting or something like that I print it out. Often kids think we make up that they can get in trouble with these things. Showing them stories (the more local the better) of someone who sent a naked picture of him/her self to send to their BF/GF who then sends it to all their friends who then post it on facebook. And then having all those folks in trouble for possessing / distributing child porn.

8th grade here is the last year of middle school then they go to high school. I also used to print out stuff and "show" them that those things really happen then the therapist told me that really you can only tell them a couple of times before they "shut it out" so I would allow her to bring up things that she found out about and I learned to allow her to grow up kinda sorta ina its easier to "Let" her grow up since she moved out It's all in Gods hands now and I am just allowing him to worry about it.

 

[Unforgiven]

I have added this link to the OP as well, but I know some folks go to the first unread post as well. This is a link to an Android Market (Parental Controls) Parental controls link. Please check to see it these are legal in your area (these laws vary from state to state in the US, and I'm sure country to country overseas). I will try to go through the list myself, but if anyone can give me feedback as to what is legal where, it would be greatly appreciated. I will update the OP with any useful feedback about I receive.