zuben el genub
Extreme Android User
Volunteered in school libraries through all school years. Will even add 2nd or 3rd letter to alphabetize.
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bjacks12
Android Expert
I wish I could send this to a bunch of my clients
Dear _________,
I heard you stopped by the office today at noon. Sorry I didn’t get to see you; lately I’ve been spending my lunch hour in the parking lot, sitting in my car and quietly weeping.
Judging by the disorganized pile of unopened envelopes and food-stained receipts on my desk that alerted me to your visit, it looks like you dropped off your tax information. How sweet of you!
But here’s the thing. It’s April ____th APRIL _____th!! The tax deadline is in less than twelve days. And you know this. You’ve always known this.
Because unlike Thanksgiving, Easter, and Arbor Day, tax day is always on the same exact day of the year: April 15th. Well, except when it falls on a weekend, in which case it might be the 16th or 17th, (or every once in a while the 18th) but you get the idea.
Yet, despite presumably possessing the ability to comprehend the standard Gregorian calendar, here you are, dropping off all of your information mere days before the deadline — just as you did last year, and the year before that — and leaving me a Post-It note thanking me for “squeezing you in.”
Only I won’t be squeezing you in.
It’s nothing personal, it’s ju….OK, maybe itisa little personal.
I have to know — why are you dropping your stuff off now? I could understand if you were waiting for a K-1 or some other information from a third party that just arrived in the mail, but that’s not the case. You’re a W-2-mortgage interest-charitable contribution kinda’ guy, and you’ve always been that way. Yet, simple as that sounds, you can never manage to get your information to me before the calendar turns to April.
And that’s freakin’ rude. Squeeze you in? When, exactly, would you like me to squeeze you in? Last week I worked ___ hours, and I still have ______ returns to get out the door before April 18th. And every single one of those _____ returns is in the queue ahead of you, because those people had the good sense — nay, the decency – to bring me their information BEFORE THIS WEEK.
So by asking me to squeeze you in, you’re basically saying, “Hey, I know the next ten days of your life are going to be pure hell, but do me a favor…when you mercifully reach the end of the months-long pile of returns you’ve had to complete, just knock mine out real quick.” It’s as if I was asked to run a marathon, only to have you show up with 100 meters left and move the finish linebackanother mile. And for that, I hope you c0ntract a raging case of pinworms.
Come to think of it, actually, it would be a refreshing change if you conceded that you were at the end of my list. Because if memory serves me, every year you drop off your information on the 5th or 6th, and then start calling on the 7th to find out “how things are coming.”
Well, this year, let me tell you in advance “how things are coming.” Since tax season started, I’ve put on _______ pounds. I haven’t seen my kids during daylight hours since _______. My neighbor just told me that the Fed Ex guy’s/Avon lady’s car is often parked outside my house for hours at a time, but whenever I get home, I’ve got no packages/cosmetics but one helluva happy wife/husband. THAT’S how things are coming.
So no, I won’t be “squeezing you in” before April 18th, because that’s a physical impossibility. The only time during the day when I’m not sleeping or preparing a tax return is on my drive to and from work, and careening off the road while trying to prepareyourreturn at 70 mph is not how I intend to die. Although to be honest, right about now the idea of eternal rest sounds pretty damn appetizing.
In short, I’ll be filing an extension for your return. See you in May.
Sincerely,
__________________
Dear _________,
I heard you stopped by the office today at noon. Sorry I didn’t get to see you; lately I’ve been spending my lunch hour in the parking lot, sitting in my car and quietly weeping.
Judging by the disorganized pile of unopened envelopes and food-stained receipts on my desk that alerted me to your visit, it looks like you dropped off your tax information. How sweet of you!
But here’s the thing. It’s April ____th APRIL _____th!! The tax deadline is in less than twelve days. And you know this. You’ve always known this.
Because unlike Thanksgiving, Easter, and Arbor Day, tax day is always on the same exact day of the year: April 15th. Well, except when it falls on a weekend, in which case it might be the 16th or 17th, (or every once in a while the 18th) but you get the idea.
Yet, despite presumably possessing the ability to comprehend the standard Gregorian calendar, here you are, dropping off all of your information mere days before the deadline — just as you did last year, and the year before that — and leaving me a Post-It note thanking me for “squeezing you in.”
Only I won’t be squeezing you in.
It’s nothing personal, it’s ju….OK, maybe itisa little personal.
I have to know — why are you dropping your stuff off now? I could understand if you were waiting for a K-1 or some other information from a third party that just arrived in the mail, but that’s not the case. You’re a W-2-mortgage interest-charitable contribution kinda’ guy, and you’ve always been that way. Yet, simple as that sounds, you can never manage to get your information to me before the calendar turns to April.
And that’s freakin’ rude. Squeeze you in? When, exactly, would you like me to squeeze you in? Last week I worked ___ hours, and I still have ______ returns to get out the door before April 18th. And every single one of those _____ returns is in the queue ahead of you, because those people had the good sense — nay, the decency – to bring me their information BEFORE THIS WEEK.
So by asking me to squeeze you in, you’re basically saying, “Hey, I know the next ten days of your life are going to be pure hell, but do me a favor…when you mercifully reach the end of the months-long pile of returns you’ve had to complete, just knock mine out real quick.” It’s as if I was asked to run a marathon, only to have you show up with 100 meters left and move the finish linebackanother mile. And for that, I hope you c0ntract a raging case of pinworms.
Come to think of it, actually, it would be a refreshing change if you conceded that you were at the end of my list. Because if memory serves me, every year you drop off your information on the 5th or 6th, and then start calling on the 7th to find out “how things are coming.”
Well, this year, let me tell you in advance “how things are coming.” Since tax season started, I’ve put on _______ pounds. I haven’t seen my kids during daylight hours since _______. My neighbor just told me that the Fed Ex guy’s/Avon lady’s car is often parked outside my house for hours at a time, but whenever I get home, I’ve got no packages/cosmetics but one helluva happy wife/husband. THAT’S how things are coming.
So no, I won’t be “squeezing you in” before April 18th, because that’s a physical impossibility. The only time during the day when I’m not sleeping or preparing a tax return is on my drive to and from work, and careening off the road while trying to prepareyourreturn at 70 mph is not how I intend to die. Although to be honest, right about now the idea of eternal rest sounds pretty damn appetizing.
In short, I’ll be filing an extension for your return. See you in May.
Sincerely,
__________________
Dngrsone
Android Expert
Unfortunately, I'm one of those guys this year. My tax preparer might be too busy to take me, but the government owes me, so the IRS won't care if I wait until May to file.
bjacks12
Android Expert
That's ok. It doesn't take long to file an extension(unless we have to calculate an extension payment for people who will owe on their return).
But we get tons of clients that come in on April 12th with their information and demand a signed return the next day.
They can rightly go get pegged.
But we get tons of clients that come in on April 12th with their information and demand a signed return the next day.
They can rightly go get pegged.
K
Kaat72
Guest
"Let us begin." is that what it says? My Windows 10 tablet started with the same platitude.
Maria and the children....
"Let's start at the very beginning
A very good place to start"
Maria and the children....
"Let's start at the very beginning
A very good place to start"
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jefboyardee
Extreme Android User
Americans spend more on taxes than food, clothing, housing combined
— Collectively, Americans will spend more on taxes in 2016 than they will on food, clothing, and housing combined.
— Americans will pay $3.3 trillion in federal taxes and $1.6 trillion in state and local taxes, for a total bill of almost $5.0 trillion, or 31 percent of the nation's income.
— Americans will pay $3.3 trillion in federal taxes and $1.6 trillion in state and local taxes, for a total bill of almost $5.0 trillion, or 31 percent of the nation's income.
jefboyardee
Extreme Android User
Rampaging RADIOACTIVE wild boars causing havoc near Fukushima nuclear plant and 'breeding like rabbits'
Radioactive wild boars which are 'breeding like rabbits' are overwhelming the Fukushima Nuclear disaster zone.
The boar population, which has increased by 330 per cent in the four years since the disaster, has been devastating the crops of farms in the area.
Around 13,000 of the boars are in the exclusion zone, which stretches in a 12-mile radius from the plant.
Radioactive wild boars which are 'breeding like rabbits' are overwhelming the Fukushima Nuclear disaster zone.
The boar population, which has increased by 330 per cent in the four years since the disaster, has been devastating the crops of farms in the area.
Around 13,000 of the boars are in the exclusion zone, which stretches in a 12-mile radius from the plant.
on the way down! Love that place! Unfortunately none where I live so I made us make sure we went in our wY down
jefboyardee
Extreme Android User
What a segway, from radioactive wild boars to Waffle House.
huh
Android Expert
Beautiful here!! Glad we came
kind of uptight kalahari for my taste ... But it's very niceAlthough my BF in next villa is so pissed I paid less than half for same room
Because I'm frugal ... And I research
Having an awesome time!!!!
Don't want to go home
Except for Quinn Oliver and Malcolm:/ miss them so much
Don't miss the total responsibility of my family though
( not my immediate family hubby kids pets)
Don't miss responsibility of my mom and the anger and resentment I feel towards my siblings ... Sister in particular
But for now
I'm on the beach!!
huh
Android Expert
Don't like segways and hoverboards and things, I prefer two wheels in line, and not side by side.
huh
Android Expert
Speaking of animal heros et all... Did u hear about the dog fighter abuser etc from Detroit who was visited by three ninjas? Blahahahaha
!!! Absolutely LOVE it!!!! They tourtered him They cut off his ear and left with it so he couldn't attach it back on
Frick in awesome:!!! That will teach them!!!
I'm a total fan
!!! Absolutely LOVE it!!!! They tourtered him They cut off his ear and left with it so he couldn't attach it back on
Frick in awesome:!!! That will teach them!!!
I'm a total fan
jefboyardee
Extreme Android User
Dngrsone
Android Expert
With relish.
Love yourself from every morning
