I have lived with clinical depression since I was about six or seven.
I managed to do so without medication until I was 32 or so... my anger was too much, too disruptive for family life.
I am still depressed, but much less so, and I have a decent grip on my anger.
Unfortunately, the drugs also make me stupid.
I am sorry my good amigo... but have you maybe thought of different alternatives?
I used to be on (A LOT OF) medication.
It did not and will not or never ever ever help me in a billion years even if I find a way to live forever through some awesome (more like scary) means...
I can proudly say with extreme confidence... fearless tenacity... damn dogged determination... fearless perseverance I have come out like a Phoenix.
I have never had such clear thoughts and my concentration is now incredibly high.
People feel this
intense penetrating / probing mind from me and many are amazed (some are very scared) of how much I know and how much I see.
The kids really dig it.
I can see what they want a million miles away and they freaking love how I can read their minds... they dig it.
Me too.
It is really awesome.
But I know why I used to be on a crap load of medication... my family has never
accepted me for
who I am... I am actually a total out cast in my "home"... this is the only reason as to why I used to be on medication...
My family does not like my probing mind.
They totally hate it.
I know they do... I only bring it out when they demand "flawlessness" from me... I return the "favour" with
interest... but even then it can make things worse...
This is when they hate me for my refusal to agree with them... my refusal to "bow"... and they hate this so called "disobedience"... it is not disobedience... it is their refusal to accept me for who I am.
They hate it and they do not like or understand me and their refusal... their refusal to just leave me the **** alone... for people that claim to very smart... they just really aren't that smart at all... with all the time they waste talking about problems they could just use that time and energy to actually fix the things they don't like in the first place... crazy I know... and when I bring this to their attention they say I am crazy... it is because the truth hurts them...
I have 1 hell of a sharp mind when I am pushed around... it is like all of hell itself... nothing escapes me.
I am the black sheep even though I never mean any harm... I hate fighting.
It goes to now where - every time.
Fighting goes no where unless you are being oppressed.
They bashed on my door a lot today... this really angers me...
One of these days I am going to SNAP...