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So my ex husband will be executed on Thursday.

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danaj

danaj

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On Feb. 20th 2005, my then husband murdered our only child, Elias Ocean Johnson. He admitted to it, and was sentenced to death. This has changed my life forever. I think of my beautiful baby boy everyday. He was 6 months old when he was murdered. Today I found out that the court plans to execute Christopher Thomas Johnson on Thursday. I thought I would have more time to make arrangements to be present during the execution, however, I am not sure if I want to go or not. I just felt the need to reach out and talk about this, because I have such mixed emotions. Normally I am opposed to capital punishment, but in this case I can truly say that I won't lose any sleep over this particular execution....I finally feel a sense of closure and relief....part of me is angry though that he wont have to live with what he has done. During the trial he told the jury that they had no choice but to sentence him to death....and that he didn't want to spend the rest of his life in prison....he also said he murdered our son because he hated me. I just wanted to tell you guys this because I felt I needed to get it out....your thoughts please.
Convicted child killer from Atmore gets October execution date | al.com
Convicted Ala. baby killer set for October execution | fox10tv.com
 

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Wow, I really don't know what to say. My heart just broke just reading this. I can't imagine what you must be going through. What kind of person could do something like this to their own child? And to try to blame it on you just shows even more what a sick person he is. Please don't ever let him make you believe that. This is all on him. I have mixed feelings about the death penalty, but in a case like this, where there is no possibility of a wrongful conviction, I say he deserves it 100%. I'm so sorry for your loss, and that a monster like this can change your life forever. Anything I can say seems meaningless, but try to stay strong, and keep your son alive in your heart and memories. I can't think of anything sadder than a life cut that short, by his own father no less, and never being able to know what he might have become. My thoughts are definitely with you. I don't think I will be able to think about anything else for awhile.
 
Words fail me.

I'll try, just to say that we do see some expressions of closure with the presence of victims family when the offender's life ends. We also do see reports of close family members and others involved feeling better just putting the offender behind them, out of their life altogether.

It seems to differ from one person to another.

I honor you for having the courage to express this part of your life here.

I know you'll be guided to do what is right for you, Danaj. :)
 
Oh my, no words I will ever write as some anon dude on the interwebs will have any real meaning as to what you must be going through at this moment in your life.

My most sincere best wishes go to you right now, as not only have you lost your most precious son to a monster you once loved, but that the very same monster will also be put to death for his terrible crimes and this only leaves you alone in the whole world with the grieving & the pain for the rest of your life, whilst this monster gets off lightly by his life ending prematurely. He should have been made to rot in jail for the rest of his life to allow him to think about his awful act that he committed and thus everything he lost, this would have been far more painful than execution for sure.

You will never get closure, but each day you will heal a little bit more and I can only hope that you eventually find that time & place where you will be ready to accept that your lovely son although gone but not forgotten would have hoped that you find some happiness & peace for the rest of your long life.

Peace & love from afar.
 
With your usually chipper and upbeat posts, no way I could have guessed you've been bearing such a burden.

Although just a stranger, I grieve the loss of your son with you as do others reading your story - in times of doubt that we all have, I hope it's some small comfort to know that you're not alone.

On the subject of uncertainty of going or not - I would only say that there is a path that's right for you. If you feel a deep need to attend the execution, but are holding back over pressure, then go. If you feel a need to stay away but are trying to do what's right or expected - stay away. Trust your instincts.

If you're open and neutral to going or not - if I were in your shoes, I'd stay away. The world is a rough place, full of heartache, and seeing another person die is not necessarily one more burden of visions that you must take on. You've been serving time in hell, no need to add to it. If it had been another person less close, I'd go - but this case, I don't think so. Seems like you've given enough of yourself and your life to that man. However - that's just me in the moment, and I have no moral high ground here.

I am truly sorry for your loss and will morally support whatever decision you choose. Tragedy is a personal thing and you must do what's right for you alone.

And I'm sure you've heard it, but just making sure - your son didn't die because you were hated, it's not on you. Your son died because some dastardly set of brain chemicals took over another person and evil resulted.

Whichever way it goes down, please feel free to reach out here or privately after this goes down, whatever you need, all of your pals here are for you, have no doubt.

Again, my deepest condolences for your loss.
 
I have no words.

All I can say is how sorry I am for everything that you have had to go through and I hope that after this you can have some peace. As a mother my heart aches for you. My deepest condolences.
 
its been said here already, but I am truly sorry for your loss. I Hope that the future is easier on you after the whole ordeal is finished :(
 
Just a general comment. I feel sad for you, but he will get what he deserves. Find some joy and pay your Ex no more attention. I've been through a similar thing with my dearest friend and his family.

Google "Ogden Hi-Fi Shop Murders" and have a look at what I went through. Nuff about that.

Just do not dwell on the sadness or you will never recover fully.

So very sad.
 
Wow, I am so sorry, I don't know what else to say. As for the execution, I'd say that you should not go. You will know he's dead either way, but you probably don't want to watch it happen and have that burned into your mind for the rest of your life. Although I agree with others, that he should be sentanced to life instead of death, he would suffer more and longer that way, and that's what he truely deserves. And anyone can say that they did something because of someone else, but the truth is that they control their own actions, and they do what they do because they want to, no matter how they try to twist it around and put the blame elsewhere. He may have hated you, but a divorce would have been the more logical solution to that instead of what he did. He deserves no mercy.
 
I would second all the advice on skipping the execution. I spent six years working in emergency services and saw people die/suffer on a fairly regular enough basis. It changes a person in ways you can't even fathom. I am definitely a much different person now and there are times I'm not sure that's a good thing. I don't think anything good comes out of seeing someone else suffer and die. There's enough suffering in the world and it sounds like you have seen more than your share already. That's just my two cents though. Your mileage may certainly vary.
 
Stories like this make me wish I wasn't an atheist and could actually BELIEVE this vile thing was going to hell.
 
I just want to say I'm sooooo sorry for your loss. As your best friend, I truely love you and am here for you. Reading all the news stories today I finally know exactly what happened and am heartbroken for you. I will be with you Thursday for you. I love you!
 
Wow :(

:(

I am so sorry,

I am lost for words..... :(

I thought long and hard for something for both you and your unfortunate son's fate.

I would like to share this video with you, it is a well known song:

Celtic Woman - Amazing Grace - YouTube

May God give you strength to over come this tremndous hurdle you have now,

May you find peace and inner happiness in either this life... or the next.

I don't know if you believe in God or not, but for what it is worth,

May God bless you and your son.
 
As a father of 2 and soon to be 3, reading this hurts. I cannot imagine what you are going through. If that sonofabitch dies then good. How could somebody be so selfish to kill their own child to hurt another person. This man needs to be dispatched from humanity.

There is no word/s I can say to express my sorrow for you. I wish I could give you a hug. You have made it this far in life and you can make it farther yet. Maybe you can be a beacon for others who have had something like this happen. The strength you have gained form this could very well be the strength somebody else might need to pull through.

Be strong, though you will never forget what has happened, you must keep moving forward. Take care.
 
Stinky Stinky said:
Wow :(

:(

I am so sorry,

I am lost for words..... :(

I thought long and hard for something for both you and your unfortunate son's fate.

I would like to share this video with you, it is a well known song:

Celtic Woman - Amazing Grace - YouTube

May God give you strength to over come this tremndous hurdle you have now,

May you find peace and inner happiness in either this life... or the next.

I don't know if you believe in God or not, but for what it is worth,

May God bless you and your son.
Click to expand...

I adore Celtic Woman. So much talent, they make me cry.
 
perkikitty969 said:
I just want to say I'm sooooo sorry for your loss. As your best friend, I truely love you and am here for you. Reading all the news stories today I finally know exactly what happened and am heartbroken for you. I will be with you Thursday for you. I love you!
Click to expand...
Awww did you make an account just to write this :):)
 
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