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So who do I offend here?

A.Nonymous

A.Nonymous

Extreme Android User
Long story short, I'm supposed to be a wedding for a friend of mine that I've known for nearly 10 years on Saturday at 1700. I'm also supposed to be at a going away party for my sister who is moving away at the exact same time. Social etiquette dictates that I should go to both. Physics dictates that I can't be in two places at once. Any ideas on which of these two I should offend?
 
I think your sister will understand a lot more than your friend of the situation.
 
Well, the thing for my sister is kind of a surprise party. She doesn't know about it.

I was actually leaning on bailing on my friend TBH, but I'll probably change my mind after sleeping on it and change my mind again later. He lives in another state and I don't see him often. But then I may not see my sister again for 6 months or more. And I've been ribbing him online about settling down.
 
Give your friend your condolences, and see your sister off.

"Love is a form of temporary insanity cured by marriage." Ambrose Beirce (19th century)
 
Which one will last the longest? Head to the other first and stay long enough to see the early parts of it and then hit the last parts of the other.

If it's still a 50/50 I'd pick the wedding. Friend will only get married once(in theory anyway). You'll be able to party with and say goodbye to your sister many more times at family functions or whatever.
 
ScorpDX said:
Which one will last the longest? Head to the other first and stay long enough to see the early parts of it and then hit the last parts of the other.

If it's still a 50/50 I'd pick the wedding. Only get married once. You'll be able to party with and say goodbye to your sister many more times at family functions or whatever.
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Not really. Sister leaves on Monday.
 
How close are you with the friend? Weddings are quite important. If I was good friends with someone for almost 10 years... I'd be very disappointed if he/she decided to not attend because of a going away party.

I usually do not see my brother for at least a year at a time... sometimes 2 years as this past 2 years have been until I went to his graduation. I don't think it's a big deal. Keep in mind I'm very, very close with my family.
 
ScorpDX said:
I meant down the road. Are you never going to see her again?
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Sure. Just don't know when. You only get one going away party too if we're looking at it that way. That's why I'm torn. If I don't go to the guys wedding, I offend him and probably his wife/fiancee. If I don't go to the party for my sister, I possibly offend her, my parents and our friends as well.
 
Hmmm... I think I have an idea.

Why don't you plan something fun to do with your sister on lets say... Friday? Take her out to a surprise lunch or something. Do something before the surprise party for her and let her know that you're happening to go to a wedding.

Obviously let it be meaningful enough and not just going to Taco Bell or something. hehe
 
Vihzel said:
Hmmm... I think I have an idea.

Why don't you plan something fun to do with your sister on lets say... Friday? Take her out to a surprise lunch or something. Do something before the surprise party for her and let her know that you're happening to go to a wedding.
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Good idea, or take her to dinner on Sunday the night before she leaves?
 
Steven get's out his Solomon's sword to slice A.Nonymous in half so he can be at both places. :p
 
Go to the wedding! And, as someone else suggested, take your sister out for brunch/lunch/dinner before she leaves...
 
A.Nonymous said:
Long story short, I'm supposed to be a wedding for a friend of mine that I've known for nearly 10 years on Saturday at 1700. I'm also supposed to be at a going away party for my sister who is moving away at the exact same time. Social etiquette dictates that I should go to both. Physics dictates that I can't be in two places at once. Any ideas on which of these two I should offend?
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Family first. Seems to me, a true friend will understand that and will not get upset.

My family is made up of warriors, fornicators, drinkers, bikers, lawless banshees, oldsters that refuse to die and insist that they are 30 once again, hopeless romantics, rebels, people on the lamb, spiritual gurus, failed businessmen, wanna be actors, liars, successful "entrepreneurs," and brawlers. So definitely, I always attend the familial gatherings.

And we always serve good cake, too.

Bob
 
Bob Maxey said:
Family first. Seems to me, a true friend will understand that and will not get upset.

My family is made up of warriors, fornicators, drinkers, bikers, lawless banshees, oldsters that refuse to die and insist that they are 30 once again, hopeless romantics, rebels, people on the lamb, spiritual gurus, failed businessmen, wanna be actors, liars, successful "entrepreneurs," and brawlers. So definitely, I always attend the familial gatherings.

And we always serve good cake, too.

Bob
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Normally I would agree with you bob on this one. There are exception to the rule on family. He sister is moving away and not really that special when compared to his friends wedding and he is playing a special part in his friends wedding. Not like he was just a guest at the wedding. His sister will understand and will think her moving is no big deal. Remember girls are suckers for weddings and she will probably tell you to go to the wedding. You will regret not doing the wedding and your friend will feel wronged by you.


Look at it this way who asked yo ufirst. Your friend to be in his wedding or your family saying we are throwing a party for your sister. You know its right to honor your promise to your friend.


My lord this thread has too much red in it. What is it a moderator convention :p
 
Dark Jedi said:
Normally I would agree with you bob on this one. There are exception to the rule on family. He sister is moving away and not really that special when compared to his friends wedding and he is playing a special part in his friends wedding. Not like he was just a guest at the wedding. His sister will understand and will think her moving is no big deal. Remember girls are suckers for weddings and she will probably tell you to go to the wedding. You will regret not doing the wedding and your friend will feel wronged by you.
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This is the best advice I've seen in this thread. It's what I would do.
 
Yeah, I would say the wedding. Then doing something special with sis before she heads out. Make sure she knows of your plans on the wedding, before then. So she doesnt wonder why you were not at her party.
 
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