That's so Boston.
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Tell me a joke...
- Thread starter Daniel Fernandes
- Start date
Madam I'm Adam
The people who leave their cakes out as well?
Way to punny. Funny though. 
Milo Willamson
Android Expert
Without stupid people,
How would the internet re-act to them?
How would the internet re-act to them?
filthy phil
Well-Known Member
I like dating homeless girls.
When you're done with them you can drop them off anywhere
When you're done with them you can drop them off anywhere
filthy phil
Well-Known Member
A self-conscious wife asks her husband, "Honey, are my boobs too small?"
"No, honey, they're fine, but if you want to make them bigger, why don't you rub toilet paper between them?" he suggests.
For the next couple of weeks, the wife rubs toilet paper between her boobs several times a day, but sees no results.
"Honey, where did you get the idea that this toilet paper thing would work?"
"Well, you've been rubbing toilet paper on your butt all these years and that's getting bigger."
"No, honey, they're fine, but if you want to make them bigger, why don't you rub toilet paper between them?" he suggests.
For the next couple of weeks, the wife rubs toilet paper between her boobs several times a day, but sees no results.
"Honey, where did you get the idea that this toilet paper thing would work?"
"Well, you've been rubbing toilet paper on your butt all these years and that's getting bigger."
Milo Willamson
Android Expert
You know with each generation of different kids, they always miss out one another, but thankfully my child missed out on the bullet hahahaa 
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
Milo Willamson
Android Expert
Thanks dontpanicbobby 
OT: Wasn't Radio grand. Just spin the dial and who knows what you'd find. No typing involved. I miss it.
Milo Willamson
Android Expert
Indeed, I still listen to the radio on my t.v. via sirius XM. Also I have a bunch of LPS just laying around.
THE IRISH NEVER HESITATE TO COME TO THE AID OF THEIR FELLOW MAN, AIR PASSENGERS, IN THIS CASE.
SHORTLY AFTER TAKE-OFF ON AN OUTBOUND, EVENING AER LINGUS FLIGHT FROM DUBLIN TO BOSTON, THE LEAD FLIGHT ATTENDANT NERVOUSLY MADE THE FOLLOWING PAINFUL ANNOUNCEMENT IN HER LOVELY IRISH BROGUE:
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I'M SO VERY SORRY, BUT IT APPEARS THAT THERE HAS BEEN A TERRIBLE MIX-UP BY OUR CATERING SERVICE. I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED, BUT WE HAVE 103 PASSENGERS ON BOARD, AND UNFORTUNATELY, WE RECEIVED ONLY 40 DINNER MEALS. I TRULY APOLOGIZE FOR THIS MISTAKE AND INCONVENIENCE."
WHEN THE MUTTERING OF THE PASSENGERS HAD DIED DOWN, SHE CONTINUED, "ANYONE WHO IS KIND ENOUGH TO GIVE UP THEIR MEAL SO THAT SOMEONE ELSE CAN EAT, WILL RECEIVE FREE AND UNLIMITED DRINKS FOR THE DURATION OF OUR 10 HOUR FLIGHT."
HER NEXT ANNOUNCEMENT CAME ABOUT 2 HOURS LATER:
"IF ANYONE IS HUNGRY, WE STILL HAVE 40 DINNERS AVAILABLE."
SHORTLY AFTER TAKE-OFF ON AN OUTBOUND, EVENING AER LINGUS FLIGHT FROM DUBLIN TO BOSTON, THE LEAD FLIGHT ATTENDANT NERVOUSLY MADE THE FOLLOWING PAINFUL ANNOUNCEMENT IN HER LOVELY IRISH BROGUE:
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I'M SO VERY SORRY, BUT IT APPEARS THAT THERE HAS BEEN A TERRIBLE MIX-UP BY OUR CATERING SERVICE. I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED, BUT WE HAVE 103 PASSENGERS ON BOARD, AND UNFORTUNATELY, WE RECEIVED ONLY 40 DINNER MEALS. I TRULY APOLOGIZE FOR THIS MISTAKE AND INCONVENIENCE."
WHEN THE MUTTERING OF THE PASSENGERS HAD DIED DOWN, SHE CONTINUED, "ANYONE WHO IS KIND ENOUGH TO GIVE UP THEIR MEAL SO THAT SOMEONE ELSE CAN EAT, WILL RECEIVE FREE AND UNLIMITED DRINKS FOR THE DURATION OF OUR 10 HOUR FLIGHT."
HER NEXT ANNOUNCEMENT CAME ABOUT 2 HOURS LATER:
"IF ANYONE IS HUNGRY, WE STILL HAVE 40 DINNERS AVAILABLE."
Radio on.
Nothing is funny. Nothing!
Except somebody else slipping on a Banana peel.
Nothing is funny. Nothing!
Except somebody else slipping on a Banana peel.
I am barely amused!
D
Deleted User
Guest
28 mins of mostly naughty jokes by regular Jewish people : [/
]
MrJavi
Android Expert
A beautiful lady walks into a bar.
All heads turn
She walks up to 3 guys standing at the bar and says "I'll sleep with with which ever one of you who can use the words liver and cheese in a sentence I like."
The white guy says "I love liver and cheese."
The black guy says "I hate liver and cheese."
The Mexican says "liver alone cheese mine."
All heads turn
She walks up to 3 guys standing at the bar and says "I'll sleep with with which ever one of you who can use the words liver and cheese in a sentence I like."
The white guy says "I love liver and cheese."
The black guy says "I hate liver and cheese."
The Mexican says "liver alone cheese mine."