The (Official?) “I’m Married” Thread

[olbriar]

 

[olbriar]

 

[rootabaga]

^^^Sadly, he only *thinks* he won…

 

[olbriar]

 

[rootabaga]

 

[olbriar]

 

[rootabaga]

I don’t believe any woman I ever dated did this…

Gary Gulman on Instagram: "Classic Gulman: The Market Price Bit #seafood #datenight #standupcomedy"

17K likes, 157 comments - garygulman on July 8, 2022: "Classic Gulman: The Market Price Bit #seafood #datenight #standupcomedy".

www.instagram.com

 

[The_Chief]

 

[Bearsyzf]

View attachment 176107

But Honestly probably NOT the Best driving Instructor 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

 

[The_Chief]

DEFINITELY not the best! She sees brake lights two blocks away and gasps, causing me to panic and think we're in imminent danger. Brake lights one block away and she's over there in the passenger seat, stomping her imaginary brake pedal, hitting my dashboard (I have no idea what that's supposed to do) and grabbing the Oh-My-God handle over the door. I think our lifetime driving instructors have severe depth perception issues.

 

[IHateMyTreo]

DEFINITELY not the best! She sees brake lights two blocks away and gasps, causing me to panic and think we're in imminent danger. Brake lights one block away and she's over there in the passenger seat, stomping her imaginary brake pedal, hitting my dashboard (I have no idea what that's supposed to do) and grabbing the Oh-My-God handle over the door. I think our lifetime driving instructors have severe depth perception issues.

Add to that: when I navigate (because she will not allow me to drive - apparently i make her carsick) she will ALWAYS miss the turn I gave three advance notices of, and then blame me.

 

[BrickHouse]

Add to that: when I navigate (because she will not allow me to drive - apparently i make her carsick) she will ALWAYS miss the turn I gave three advance notices of, and then blame me.

Remember this:
"I confess, ........... he did it ..."

 

[rootabaga]

In light of the recent "turn" in this thread...DON'T GET ME STARTED!!

 

[rootabaga]

^^^ Actually, for some reason it reminded me of one of my favorite jokes, which I just added to the Joke thread.
Since I don't like to cross-post, here's the link to that post: Tell me a joke...

 

[The_Chief]

 

[The_Chief]

WARNING: Use with discretion.

10 Things You Can Do That All Wives Find Incredibly Sexy

Women are mercurial, and every husband knows how challenging it can be to remain the object of a wife's attention and adoration. Fortunately, The Babylon Bee has solved this universal riddle and put together the following list of things that all wives will find irresistibly sexy:

babylonbee.com

 

[The_Chief]

For Christmas, my wife asked me for a pair of those noise-cancelling headphones.

I got her a cheap set from China and gave them to her as an early gift. I was a bit skeptical about whether or not they'd work.

They did!

First time she tried them on she got electrocuted.

 

[rootabaga]

For Christmas, my wife asked me for a pair of those noise-cancelling headphones.

I got her a cheap set from China and gave them to her as an early gift. I was a bit skeptical about whether or not they'd work.

They did!

First time she tried them on she got electrocuted.

Can you send me the link??? Please??

 

[The_Chief]

 

[olbriar]

 

[The_Chief]

 

[rootabaga]

A classic from the FB world…

7.4M views · 92K reactions | Uncle Spade's Words of Wisdom | Facebook

www.facebook.com

 

[The_Chief]

 

[The_Chief]

 

[treb1797]

I get this every night from my wife & now they're making a sport out of it.....